Im sorry sovery. My very own sister has done damage to my relationship with my ES. Its hard enough to keep going without others interference making it worse.

And my husband's children from his first marriage have fueled the fire too. Sad.

IMO...if an estranged or semi estranged adult child is looking for and/or susceptible to allies/advocatespeer pressure...in their immature/unfocused/angry state of mind...in their desire to blame anyone/someone usually us (their parents) for "their lousy lives"...as in the statement many make..."just stay out of my life...I will get a restraining order etc etc...THEN they will always be susceptible to the next "girlfirend/boyfriend/ally/adovcate/peer that comes along...if this girlfriend goes another will come to fill the spot in him that he needs filled.

Truthfully look at ourselves...could a girlgriend/boyfriend/social friend/boss/manager etc... convince us in any way shape or form to talk to our parents the way he just did to your DH? If the answer is no...then we must look to the adult child and ask...what makes them think they can get away with this type of action...hopefully it is not because we are allowing them to get by with it time and time again with no consequences for their action,

One apology from a parent should be sufficient if it is given in good faith...to continue to aplogize and allow any child to spout off things like he did to your DH is demeaning and disrespectful and puts an incredible amount of power in a very immature person's hands.

He has stated more than once to his parents about legal action. If allowed to continue this...while being supported by those same parents...then you are telling him that those actions are acceptable and okay with you. Actually those actions are not really even acceptable in civil society so what is being taught here.

"Honor they Father and Mother" seems very far from his thoughts...and he is getting by with it.

AllK

I read a passage in 2 Timothy: It goes something like this" reject the one who speaks with hatred & anger, the conceited, haughty one.,for he has taken the side of the evil one" I take it to mean anyone who does this, even our own children.

boy , i have no family , I have been ostricized, I never would treat my elders this way, most of my relatives were older as i grew up and i adored being with them. I dont understand this behavior. and why would someone in your life set a trigger for u to be at your worse and u think its a good relationship.. obviously society has walked away from decorum and decentcy. im so sorry for your hurt, and i know that humiliation. i think if u are paying for any of his bills its done. no more,,, not that u r bad parents but u arent kicking post either. your self esteem will plummet if u continue like this,, i know i groveled for 8 yrs for someone to care and to "forgive" me of my shortcomings , they did not and still will not.. its a power trip, and they get more strength when they see your life fall

Dear Sovery Much truth has been shared here. If we condone behavior from our EC we are saying their sin is ok to us. God's Word is clear on Honoring parents. There is no passing the blame IMHO.

I can't think of anything else because everyone here has posted great comments.

Gordos4 - could you post what chapter/verse in 2 Timothy your post is from? I think I need to read and re-read it and perhaps share it with others. Thank you.

It is important to your well-being to stop attempting contact. For the last 3 or 5 years, I have had daily solace from the simple prayer "Heavenly Father, comfort us in a place beyond words as we endure rejection; you know more than we the pain of having your children revile, reject, and ignore you."

I begged for so many other me-centered "fixes" in my prayers for years and years. When I turned to this prayer, I began to accept what will not, in this life in this family, ever be changed.

I hope my experiences save you even a year or two of begging someone to love you who is determined not to, and of bargaining with God instead of throwing yourself in your Father's loving arms for comfort.

Thank you itsjustsinc.... for that beautiful prayer. I am going to start praying for comfort rather than a fix. Just this morning I changed my prayer for my DIL from "soften her heart so she will love us" to "touch her heart with your love and draw her closer to you". She is not a Christian. It reminded me that I have been selfish praying for what I want and maybe not what is most important to God and that is DIL finding a heart for God.

Thank you to all for the encouraging comments.

Norske.....It is 2 Timothy 3:1-5

I just googled 2 Timothy 3: 1-5 and read it in "the message" which I prefer to understand scripture in our words. It reads: "Don’t be naive. There are difficult times ahead. As the end approaches, people are going to be self-absorbed, money-hungry, self-promoting, stuck-up, profane, contemptuous of parents, crude, coarse, dog-eat-dog, unbending, slanderers, impulsively wild, savage, cynical, treacherous, ruthless, bloated windbags, addicted to lust, and allergic to God. They’ll make a show of religion, but behind the scenes they’re animals. Stay clear of these people."

Pretty much describes our EC, doesn't it?

I have to agree with itsjustice on this one. Unfortunately it leaves you with the silence that you have to bear through. Then, if the do attempt contact such as mine did, you can establish some adult conditions for a respectful relationship. Then, you will either have it or they won't be ready (such as mine) and you bear silence again. He's 24 and I am praying he sees that I am not asking for anything but respect...a common thread to all good relationships. The waiting is not easy, but it is for the best for me and my DH.

Signs of the times sadly.

In a way, we gave these children life, but we did not create them. He did - just as He created us all. Yet, most have rejected Him. We are fortunate to live in a culture where we have exposure to the Word. Some people and some cultures are not so fortunate. We brought these children into the world. We raised them. Yet, they reject us and they reject God. How deeper must be God's sadness. God asks us to commend these matters into His hands. What else can we do? We do not have God's powers and omniscience. Only He can bring them to Jesus. And when He does, how glorious will that be? Yes, we will be happy, but more importantly, they will be saved! So be comforted, my righteous friends. We have done our jobs. We raised them, and we will be here for them when the Lord delivers them back onto the path of salvation. Blessings to all. --EJ