CHRISTIAN PARENTS of ESTRANGED ADULT CHILDREN Community Group
Estrangement makes it difficult to talk about with family, friends, neighbors and church members. Christians are NOT immune to broken families. Talk about your experiences with those who know how you feel and get positive support through your Christian faith...."In these last days difficult times will come, for men will be lovers of self...disobedient to parents,...
I am quoting "How to be an Outrageous Older Woman" by Ruth Harriet Jacobs - get yourself a copy if you can - beg, borrow (but do not steal) one! Smiles.
1. Realize this is a mass situation. You are one of many mothers being blamed.
2. Stop blaming yourself or accepting guilt. You did the best you could. You may not have been perfect, but nobody is.
3. Your adult daughter or son (she prefers to call them "descendants" may be depressed because of societal issues or issues of their own making. Do not let them project societal inadequacies or their own inadequacies onto you.
4.Write an unsent letter to your blaming descendant. By an unsent letter, I mean that you get your anger out in a reply to your nasty son or daughter and then tear up the letter. It is therapeutic.
5. Pray and share your hurt with God.
6. Remember that once our children are grown, they resent interference. I prefer to call hem descendants because "child" implies we still have a bot in their lives. And we do not.
7. Have hope that things will change. Sometimes descendants cut the cord in painful ways, but when they feel more like their own persons, they will return to a kinder, healthier, less dependent relationship.
8. Read the book "Making Peace with my Mother" by Sylvia Grossman.
Sending you all love and hugs xx
1. Realize this is a mass situation. You are one of many mothers being blamed.
2. Stop blaming yourself or accepting guilt. You did the best you could. You may not have been perfect, but nobody is.
3. Your adult daughter or son (she prefers to call them "descendants" may be depressed because of societal issues or issues of their own making. Do not let them project societal inadequacies or their own inadequacies onto you.
4.Write an unsent letter to your blaming descendant. By an unsent letter, I mean that you get your anger out in a reply to your nasty son or daughter and then tear up the letter. It is therapeutic.
5. Pray and share your hurt with God.
6. Remember that once our children are grown, they resent interference. I prefer to call hem descendants because "child" implies we still have a bot in their lives. And we do not.
7. Have hope that things will change. Sometimes descendants cut the cord in painful ways, but when they feel more like their own persons, they will return to a kinder, healthier, less dependent relationship.
8. Read the book "Making Peace with my Mother" by Sylvia Grossman.
Sending you all love and hugs xx
I think that without a doubt there is a percentage of estranged children that are simply asserting their independance in a negative manner and will return to the fold if the parents do not put too much pressure on their lack of normal communication.