CHRISTIAN PARENTS of ESTRANGED ADULT CHILDREN Community Group
Estrangement makes it difficult to talk about with family, friends, neighbors and church members. Christians are NOT immune to broken families. Talk about your experiences with those who know how you feel and get positive support through your Christian faith...."In these last days difficult times will come, for men will be lovers of self...disobedient to parents,...
I have lurked for awhile now, and read your stories, sometimes wiping tear as I did so, due to the common and undeserved heartbreak we all endure.
For many years I related to the scripture about a mother's children rising up to call her blessed, for that is what I knew. Now, sadly, I fully relate to the one about families at odds and with dissention, daughter against mother, which has gone on for some years as the eldest daughter (who isn't 100% estranged but seems to be working on that category) has tried to involve the whole family and works especially hard to lure her younger sisters to her cause and rather dislikes the brother she once loved so much because he refuses to turn on us.
All four children are stout and stalwart Christians, which we feel is the best we had to give them in this life and for the eternal. I'm tired of the pettiness, the unjust provocation, and the "politicking" as this girl tries to align her sisters with her to our total exclusion. As I told the middle daughter (who tries to fix it and is by nature a peacekeeper) "There comes a time to shake the dust off your feet and move on." And also that I refuse to take part in this so my eldest and I are "fighting like a couple of durned heathens"!
I am a peacemaker by nature, so believe me, I have tried. I have apologized for some rather cockamamie accusations over the years to try to keep the peace and family together. Interestingly, the apologies never "stick" and the same litany is hauled forth repeatedly and repetitiously making me relate to another scripture, that in Job as Satan shows up to swagger around as the Accuser. Our eldest daughter IS our consanguine family "accuser". It gets tedious.
As it gets worse and worse in the physical and worldly realm, I think to myself I can wait until we have love and glorified harmony in heaven where all tears will be wiped away.
Forty years ago as I read scripture and prophecy during the Jesus Revolution, the Word said we would be hated for His Name's sake, etc. etc. It seemed rather unbelievable. But here we are.
Things came to a head again yesterday, blindsided, and my peacemaker daughter was trying to fix a situation I didn't even know was broken again (silly me...rejected and too stupid and busy to KNOW it, LOL...) I suggested she quit trying to fix it...stop putting herself in the middle of it, and it seems she's now irked with me, too. I realize both she and her younger sister have been subjected to tremendous amounts of propaganda.
I told her I relate to the scripture of family at serious odds, one from the other, it was warned in scripture and "no footnote" of 'Christian families excluded' and my opinion than the Evil One attacks Christian families the hardest.
I think of stories from the Bible of people like Abram and Sarah striking out, leaving kith and kin, following God, likely not seeing their families of birth, perhaps never again....and I mull things over. A lot.
We live in a microwave society, competitive as can be (grandkids kept so busy competing they have no time to visit grandparents and team-mates are all important, and other parents the adult children's new family, that many intelligent people haven't the attention span of a flea...!
Sometimes I actually wonder if they provoke silly petty situations as reasons not to come around to salve their own guilt at lack of respect/relationships with parents in order that they can be as busy/busy and distracted "as in the days of Noe" and over-ride what they were raised to know better than to do. As a society we're in a heap o' trouble. But God warned us.
Even so...it hurts and disappoints.
Blessings to you all--
Susan
For many years I related to the scripture about a mother's children rising up to call her blessed, for that is what I knew. Now, sadly, I fully relate to the one about families at odds and with dissention, daughter against mother, which has gone on for some years as the eldest daughter (who isn't 100% estranged but seems to be working on that category) has tried to involve the whole family and works especially hard to lure her younger sisters to her cause and rather dislikes the brother she once loved so much because he refuses to turn on us.
All four children are stout and stalwart Christians, which we feel is the best we had to give them in this life and for the eternal. I'm tired of the pettiness, the unjust provocation, and the "politicking" as this girl tries to align her sisters with her to our total exclusion. As I told the middle daughter (who tries to fix it and is by nature a peacekeeper) "There comes a time to shake the dust off your feet and move on." And also that I refuse to take part in this so my eldest and I are "fighting like a couple of durned heathens"!
I am a peacemaker by nature, so believe me, I have tried. I have apologized for some rather cockamamie accusations over the years to try to keep the peace and family together. Interestingly, the apologies never "stick" and the same litany is hauled forth repeatedly and repetitiously making me relate to another scripture, that in Job as Satan shows up to swagger around as the Accuser. Our eldest daughter IS our consanguine family "accuser". It gets tedious.
As it gets worse and worse in the physical and worldly realm, I think to myself I can wait until we have love and glorified harmony in heaven where all tears will be wiped away.
Forty years ago as I read scripture and prophecy during the Jesus Revolution, the Word said we would be hated for His Name's sake, etc. etc. It seemed rather unbelievable. But here we are.
Things came to a head again yesterday, blindsided, and my peacemaker daughter was trying to fix a situation I didn't even know was broken again (silly me...rejected and too stupid and busy to KNOW it, LOL...) I suggested she quit trying to fix it...stop putting herself in the middle of it, and it seems she's now irked with me, too. I realize both she and her younger sister have been subjected to tremendous amounts of propaganda.
I told her I relate to the scripture of family at serious odds, one from the other, it was warned in scripture and "no footnote" of 'Christian families excluded' and my opinion than the Evil One attacks Christian families the hardest.
I think of stories from the Bible of people like Abram and Sarah striking out, leaving kith and kin, following God, likely not seeing their families of birth, perhaps never again....and I mull things over. A lot.
We live in a microwave society, competitive as can be (grandkids kept so busy competing they have no time to visit grandparents and team-mates are all important, and other parents the adult children's new family, that many intelligent people haven't the attention span of a flea...!
Sometimes I actually wonder if they provoke silly petty situations as reasons not to come around to salve their own guilt at lack of respect/relationships with parents in order that they can be as busy/busy and distracted "as in the days of Noe" and over-ride what they were raised to know better than to do. As a society we're in a heap o' trouble. But God warned us.
Even so...it hurts and disappoints.
Blessings to you all--
Susan
Ma Exits Stage Left.
She usually calls me every morning enroute to work and we visit. Dead silence since. Okeydokey. Fine and dandy. HER CHOICE.
This morning my son the deputy, who is gooooood at handling domestic disputes and altercations on the job and "talking calm/kind sense to people" phoned to tell me his middle sister had called, instead of her rare and random text message, with her call leaving him rather confused.
I told him i knew exactly why he'd received a call.
He's closest to his baby sister the doctor, so I told him how baby sis and I had a pact and that she wouldn't pass on stupid messages withheld from me in directness, BUT that they wanted me aware of from a 2nd party so I'd know I wasn't claimed/considered "family" to the point of being personally notified.
He "got it" and agreed.
A few months ago two of them got ganged up on him, he came up here as if his fanny was on fire and his hair was a-catching and reamed me out which was devastating. As I had a major come apart from the totally horrible fomented Big Brother attack...he had a realization. Heh, not only will crims lie to him on a daily basis BUT his sisters had definately twisted the truth 'til it screamed.
I messged the youngest and told her bro was up to speed and I appreciated her not getting involved. She admitted it had been "stressful this week" with all the "venting" and seriously ill and challenging cases, too, and a staffer gone. I told her to take the "venting" not only with a massive grain of salt...but a whole box. She does not HAVE to be there to be vented all over with propaganda. I hope she gives that some thought....
I haven't done the holidays well in years. I pointed out the roller coaster ride throughout the months of the year, we're outcasts, and then along toward TG suddenly overtures are made ...long enough to get invluded in a heavy parental gift (all kids get same value) and as sure a God Makes Lil' Green Apples shortly after the New Year and receipt of sizey gift value...we are anathema again.
I've jumped through hoops for years. Told The Girls to make the plans and I will "do as told". No more. THIS time I am making MY plans, won't be bullyragged and if they don't like it, as that hilarious Mama on Carol Burnett Show used to say: Tough Noogies.
Dunno how long it'll take the two girls in collusion to figure out it takes two to tango and I tored up MY "dance card".