CHRISTIAN PARENTS of ESTRANGED ADULT CHILDREN Community Group
Estrangement makes it difficult to talk about with family, friends, neighbors and church members. Christians are NOT immune to broken families. Talk about your experiences with those who know how you feel and get positive support through your Christian faith...."In these last days difficult times will come, for men will be lovers of self...disobedient to parents,...
After five years of my daughter disowning me and her siblings, my son got a message to her through a friend to call him. Her comment was that her relationship with me is toxic and she is not going to have contact with any family members. Her reason is I would use them To get to her.
I don't even know what I have done. The only thing is she and her husband are now atheists and I still love Jesus.
So does that make me toxic? We are in a spiritual battle. We as Christians are getting persecuted even in our own country. How sad when the persecution comes from someone you gave birth to and loved.
I don't even know what I have done. The only thing is she and her husband are now atheists and I still love Jesus.
So does that make me toxic? We are in a spiritual battle. We as Christians are getting persecuted even in our own country. How sad when the persecution comes from someone you gave birth to and loved.
It has been her older sister's sudden estrangement that has caught me so off-guard - she knows her sister is not right - and is many times outright delusional, but yet, she sides with her against me. I always considered the oldest to be SANE and rational, boy was I wrong. Even though they both admit to not getting along with each other that well (they are so very different from one another), and don't see each other that often, they still side together against their own mother. It's like they suddenly become siamese twins or something.
It just so happens that we live in the same very small town that both my oldest and her husband work. I've only run into my ED one time at the grocery store, and that was BEFORE the estrangement, and she acted odd towards me then. She said she always looked forward to the day I moved back to live near them again, but now that I am here/we are here, she pulls this stunt.
It's so very hard. Neither ED is thinking about their children at all. I'm more sad that they have suddenly had their grandparents removed from their lives, then I am that our grandchildren were removed from our lives, because I understand what's going on, but they don't. They have no clue why Nana and Grandpa are suddenly not in their lives since last year. Just, poof, we are gone to them. How the heck are they suppose to understand this? We always had a very close relationship with them - so them as often as possible and then, we just suddenly disappear? I hurt for them more than for ourselves.
And like you, this all started out with a lie that I called the younger ED out on. I insisted she tell me why she said what she said and kept doing manipulative things to us - she would not come clean and answer me or apologize when she was called out like this and then everything went downhill from there.
I did not raise either of them to lie to me or about me or anyone else for that matter. I honestly don't know who they are now - because they certainly don't exhibit the values they were raised with. Honesty and personal integrity seem to have no place in their lives - they would rather cut us off from them, then to admit their wrongs and apologize - how sad is that?????
All my life, I honored my mother - if I was ever mad at her or spoke wrongly to her or gave her an attitude, as a teen, even then, I had to go to her and make things right as soon as possible. And I've even apologized two my own ED's for things I did or said that I regret, and you know what they think of that? The youngest especially faults me for all of my apologies to her!!! It's like, to her, I should of never done anything to ever apologize for in her book! This girl does not apologize for anything she does or says to anyone that she should of never done or said. "I'm sorry" is not in her vocabulary. She thinks she can talk to me anyway she wants to - as if I were one of her peers - and she has told me so - but that is not how I was raised or how I raised them. There is no respect in how she talks to me and I won't tolerate it anymore. I'm too old for this anymore.
I was so shocked and appalled when the older daughter (the one who I thought was saner and rational) told me just before last Christmas, "FU Mom!", as she told me I would never see her kids again, as she walked out our door.". This was the result of simply asking her to come by and chat with me over a cup of tea. Seriously!!! She has never, EVER spoken to me that way before. The youngest has, but not the oldest.
That whole scene almost put me in the hospital - my doctor wanted me to go to the hospital - I had a major stress attack that night - could not breath, was retching from my gut and could not stop crying. I cried for 3 days straight - right through Christmas. My grand-children's gifts are still here at our home.
I went into shock that lasted over 5 months - I felt nothing, bu yet, I was too emotionally off balance to go though with much needed hip replacement surgery that was suppose to happen 9 days ago. I've not rescheduled it yet - I'm just not ready to take on anything else right now until I get my head together.
I know this is long - sorry about that, but I DO understand. This is a spiritual battle of this GOD-LESS generation, and Satan is using our own adult children as a barrier to our grandchildren, so that we won't have a Godly influence on them. That is what this is all about - I'm certain of it! Our own children are being used by the evil one to keep our Christian values away from them. I was already told NOT to talk to them about God/Jesus by my own adult daughers!!! This is the spirit of the anti-Christ - make no mistake.
This is a battle that can only be waged on our knees!!!!
Mountain Girl