CHRISTIAN PARENTS of ESTRANGED ADULT CHILDREN Community Group
Estrangement makes it difficult to talk about with family, friends, neighbors and church members. Christians are NOT immune to broken families. Talk about your experiences with those who know how you feel and get positive support through your Christian faith...."In these last days difficult times will come, for men will be lovers of self...disobedient to parents,...
I found these on Twitter this morning and thought I would share them for those on here that are in this kind of situation. Can you relate to these quotes? If so, in what way? Others may benefit by your experiences with PAS.
QUOTES:
1- Of the approximately one third of divorces, that do not evolve into effective co-parenting, a subset deteriorates into parental alienation. In these instances, one of the parents persistently alienates his or her children from the other parent. Alienated children react to their parents in absolute terms of “black and white.” They regard the alienating parent as all things good and virtuous. The parent from whom they are alienated, however, is considered despicable beyond any hope of changing his or her ways. Alienated children are well aware of the animosity with which the alienating parent reacts to the alienated parent. In turn, the children blindly align themselves with the alienating parent. While doing so, they also uncritically adopt the agenda of the alienating parent. (Campbell, 2005)
2- Although there may be some kernel of truth to the child’s complains and allegations about the rejected parent, the child’s grossly negative views and feelings are significantly distorted and exaggerated reactions. Thus, this unusual development is a pathological response. It is a severe distortion on the child’s parent of the previous parent-child relationship. These youngsters go far beyond an alignment in the intensity, breadth, and ferocity of their behaviors toward the parent they are rejecting. (Johnston, 2001)
3- “PAS successfully gained the recognition of Florida’s 13th Circuit Court by passing The Frye Test1 on November 22, 2000 (Gardner, 2002). Subsequently, in 2002, an equivalent test in Israel’s Supreme Court gave PAS recognition (PAS Network, 2002). On August 9, 2002, PAS passed the Mohan Test in Canada (PAS Network). This test is the equivalent to The Frye Test in the United States. However, the Mohan Test is known to be more stringent. The four point criteria for a theory to be admissible in Canadian’s courts according to the Mohan Test follow:
1. It must be relevant.
2. It must be necessary to assist the court.
3. It must be allowable in court pursuant to the rules of evidence.
4. There must be a properly qualified expert available to assist the court. (Rueda, 2004)
4- In some cases favored parents accept trivial complaints as sufficient explanation for the child’s alienation either because they do not think objectively about their ex-spouse or because they welcome their child’s negative attitudes toward the ex-spouse. In other cases a parent or examiner assumes that trivial complaints mask severe mistreatment that the child is too scared, inhibited, or immature to articulate. In some cases this assumption may be warranted, but it does not account for children who, in the absence of any direct contact, develop an aversion to relatives with whom they previously had a loving relationship. (Warshak, 2003)
**************************************************************************
I am heartened by the fact that the courts are taking this travesty much more seriously today than in the past.
Hope all is well with you today!
QUOTES:
1- Of the approximately one third of divorces, that do not evolve into effective co-parenting, a subset deteriorates into parental alienation. In these instances, one of the parents persistently alienates his or her children from the other parent. Alienated children react to their parents in absolute terms of “black and white.” They regard the alienating parent as all things good and virtuous. The parent from whom they are alienated, however, is considered despicable beyond any hope of changing his or her ways. Alienated children are well aware of the animosity with which the alienating parent reacts to the alienated parent. In turn, the children blindly align themselves with the alienating parent. While doing so, they also uncritically adopt the agenda of the alienating parent. (Campbell, 2005)
2- Although there may be some kernel of truth to the child’s complains and allegations about the rejected parent, the child’s grossly negative views and feelings are significantly distorted and exaggerated reactions. Thus, this unusual development is a pathological response. It is a severe distortion on the child’s parent of the previous parent-child relationship. These youngsters go far beyond an alignment in the intensity, breadth, and ferocity of their behaviors toward the parent they are rejecting. (Johnston, 2001)
3- “PAS successfully gained the recognition of Florida’s 13th Circuit Court by passing The Frye Test1 on November 22, 2000 (Gardner, 2002). Subsequently, in 2002, an equivalent test in Israel’s Supreme Court gave PAS recognition (PAS Network, 2002). On August 9, 2002, PAS passed the Mohan Test in Canada (PAS Network). This test is the equivalent to The Frye Test in the United States. However, the Mohan Test is known to be more stringent. The four point criteria for a theory to be admissible in Canadian’s courts according to the Mohan Test follow:
1. It must be relevant.
2. It must be necessary to assist the court.
3. It must be allowable in court pursuant to the rules of evidence.
4. There must be a properly qualified expert available to assist the court. (Rueda, 2004)
4- In some cases favored parents accept trivial complaints as sufficient explanation for the child’s alienation either because they do not think objectively about their ex-spouse or because they welcome their child’s negative attitudes toward the ex-spouse. In other cases a parent or examiner assumes that trivial complaints mask severe mistreatment that the child is too scared, inhibited, or immature to articulate. In some cases this assumption may be warranted, but it does not account for children who, in the absence of any direct contact, develop an aversion to relatives with whom they previously had a loving relationship. (Warshak, 2003)
**************************************************************************
I am heartened by the fact that the courts are taking this travesty much more seriously today than in the past.
Hope all is well with you today!
deleted_user
I personally saw this taking place, not in my personal family but in my DH's siblings. Unfortunately, the courts were not getting involved back then. Those kids are so screwed up now that they won't have anything to do with either parents. Both of those parents were trying to turn the kids against the other one. People tried to help but they would not listen. So sad. They were not Christians but I can imagine that it does go on amongst believers too.
hope4hopeless
This not only happens to some parents...but also to some grandchildren of the alienating "child"...
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