That's great and you are an inspiration to us!

I don't know whether it is because I am new to this estrangement, but I still feel simply devastated and every day is a burden (which is against God's will for us I know!).

I have been reading what some parents have written on bereavement having lost their children and they all say that they now experience joy in much more fullness than before and know when they are happy whereas they did not take any notice before. They feel it is their late children's gift to them.

I have not experienced this - perhaps it is waiting for me - certainly there IS an after - as in Job - afterwards he was blessed. Troubles don't last forever the Baptists say.

I am certainly looking forward to a time when the pain eases just a little and I can find joy on waking up. It seems such a long and weary road to travel at this moment in time.

Here is the difference: You say "They feel it is their late children's gift to them." There is a different feeling of rememberance, I believe, when you have lost a child to death and know he is in heaven vs. how we have lost our children. We hold on to hope that we will see our children again here on earth.

There is a door that closes when a child dies and after grieving, parents know they will see them again in the next life - heaven.

For us, with estranged children, we don't know if and when we will see them again. That's why I take such strength in the word "detachment". It allows me to let go a bit - detach - which isn't permanent, just temporary, so that I can live my life today and tomorrow, hopefully in a way God is pleased with me.

Norske....I could not have said it better!!!.

Norske I still have to learn how to detach. It is vitally important obviously to be able to move on. If you have any tips anyone, I would appreciate them.

We live in a small pretty coastal town and today we just happened to be DIRECTLY behind my ED's car.

I felt only a mixture of sadness and anger. She was alone without my little granddaughter (who could also have been asleep on the back seat).

I suppose we know we have detached properly when we feel - nothing?

Thank you, Norske1 That is a great verse for all of us to dwell upon.


Ishallwearp, Detachment for me (and it is a process) is giving my EC (our EC) into God's hands completely knowing that only He can change them and we can not no matter what we do to try. We "detach" due to love for our EC and we always pray for them. This, also, gives us time, with God's strength and help, to build ourselves back up from the toll that estrangement has taken (speaking personally).

God bless us all today.

Lindajoan
I couldn't have said it better, They are HIS kids just like we are! With time " Ishallwearp" it does get easier. My daughter's bday was yesterday and for about 1/2 hour I felt a bit depressed, but then it passed. GOD is in control, I know the feeling of sadness and anger because I spent so much time there, even for that 1/2 hour yesterday , I was walking around my home , contemplating kicking the cat (just kidding haha) I love cats! Yesterday was my trigger day and it worked out to be a pleasant day for me. Let go, Let God ...detach. I used to leave fingernail marks when I let go, no more!
That must have been difficult to watch her from behind but you did fine, you didn't do anything to cause yourself any further pain.

Amen!