What a wonderful husband! We had our own groom's dinner since we were not included in my ES's that they secretly planned and made sure we were not included. My DH took our family to a restaurant and we had a lovely time.

How do you feel about just showing up at the wedding? Not the reception though. I personally am not strong enough to do that but my sister would be.

Put the dress in the back of the closet and don't look at it. Pray and wait on the Lord for direction.

Thanks norske. We have thought about going anyway but we don't know where the wedding will be. We were able to find out the date by accident from one of his friends. And our other children know and are attending but can't/won't tell us. Our es has told us, if we find out and show up, he will call the police. I wonder what he would tell them. I don't want my parents at my wedding? Will wait on the Lord.

Go to that fancy resturant with your wonderful, thoughtful husband. Enjoy him, your dress and new jewlery. When the day of the wedding comes pray. That's the reason you know the day. Pray he'll be convicted as he has to organize the place without a spot for his parents. Pray he'll feel guilty as the photographer takes family pictures without a complete family. Don't go unless you're invited as that will just add fuel to the fire.

Wear the dress to a fancy restaurant and kiss DH for me for buying the jewelry to match...what a dear person who cares about you and your feelings !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Be happy with him...obviously ES does not care about your feelings...what a ridiculous threat to call the police if your parents show up to the wedding...he is just enjoying twisting the knife in your heart each time he says something like that...it is obvious to an outsider looking in...dont fall for it anymore.

You are a very special being in your right...God does not make junk although our EC's often look and act like it...but that is their problem with God...not mine and so let them and their nasty attitudes go and let God deal with them.

Enjoy your dinner date with DH and hold your head up high thru all of this "wedding farce" with your son and his GF...it cannot be a true marriage with all of the correct feelings and responsibilities if they start off on such a hurtful and wrongful path.

If I lived closer DH and I would come celebrate with you and have dinner with you two. Be peaceful...this is not about you...your son is cruel...by his own choice...

AllK

Thank you all for such kind words. It has made me feel better already.

I am crying with you so very. What a special DH you have, also. I should not have read this during lunch hour.

Our ED is engaged and plans to get married next year. That means this year there will be Bridal showers, ect. It is sad to be left out. No one has loved or done more for our EC. We should not only be invited but be honored at the weddings of our EC. My DH is firm on this point. He (we, I agree) must be treated as Jesus would want us to be. It is His command.

It may sound firm but I can not see a marriage being blessed any other way.

I say GO and have a glass of wine for us! Cheers!

Someone close to us posted the wedding invitation on our facebook page today. I have got to stop looking but my curiosity gets the best of me, then I regret it. The when and where were blurred out. So much for our so called friends. Like you have all said, people don't understand unless they are going through it and I sure wouldn't wish this torture on anybody. It stabbed me like a knife. My husband said, that's ok, we are posting our pictures on facebook when we go out and celebrate that day. I may be crying on the inside but we'll be smiling on the outside. lindajoan, we feel that God will not bless a marriage starting out like this either. We have told es this. Thanks all.

soverysad....I read your last post about an hour ago and it just upset me so much on your behalf that I just had to walk away and go paint a wall. I did not, and still do not, know what to say to make it any better for you. It is the epitome of the depravity of mankind if you ask me (which you did not). It's just plain malicious cruelty on a whole new level.

As hard as it may be, please go and enjoy yourself with your DH. I would not post any pictures though. They will see through it and know that they have gotten to you. If they feel as strongly as it seems as though they do, it may be a blessing that you don't know the time or the place. Too much curiosity can cause some people to do strange things - not that you would at all but just that it is not unheard of to happen.

saverysad - I know I have posted my situation before, but as a reminder we were not allowed to invite anyone to my ES's wedding. We were invited, along with my sister and her family and our best friends, so we had 2 tables at the reception, set off to the side, totaling 14 people. The rest of the tables were filled with her parents friends and her step mom's family (she would not invite her dad's family either). So we were 14; they were 200. I was so sad. After the first dance, father/daughter and mother/son, we left.

My ES and DIL came to our home a week later and DIL swore at us "how dare we leave their reception early". When my DH told our ES that he didn't feel welcome at the wedding, our son replied "that's because you weren't." Looking back, I'm not sure if I am glad we were there or not. Lot's of pain. Sometimes the not knowing is better.

saverysad - I should also tell you that when our son's fiance called and demanded money of us for the wedding, we refused to give them any. We did give them a gift card to a furniture store as a wedding present but did not help pay for a wedding we were not allowed to invite or participate in. Our DIL found out she couldn't have it both ways.

Thanks Guelsmom. As much as this is killing me, I keep telling myself that God doesn't want us there for a reason. As you or others have posted before, it may be for our protection.

I will be in the same situation next year. If DH and I have not been invited to participate in pre wedding activities and are not honored as the bride's parents should be we will choose not to attend. God commands children to honor parents.

Norske, that is so sad you had to leave the reception but I know what you mean. I've thought about how probably they would ignore us, even if we were invited. We are lower middle class, gf and her family are very rich. I guess that is part of the problem for her. We are not giving our son any money toward the wedding since we are not invited. But I have let her family know we would have paid our part so they would know the truth since so many lies have been told about us. And our son said he didn't want a gift from us and if we sent one, he would throw it in the trash, so we havdecided to keep our hard earned money this time.

lindajoan, I pray things change for you and your husband too so you can get to enjoy your daughter's events. My es surely understands God's commandments as he is a Bible major. I have pointed this out to him. He has chosen to listen to gf and the enemy. We wonder what goes through his mind when he listens to the pastors giving the Bible lectures.