Excellent article. No. 6 is the main reason for our estrangement - a very angry, hateful, narcisstic, non-religious woman came into our son's life and everything changed. We were no longer the loving family. In fact, she told me she noticed "now close" we were.

No. 8 and No. 11 also speak to our situation.

As interesting a read as it is, sadly there were no magic words for reconciliation. There never is. Not even Josh Coleman had any encouragement for me after hearing my story.

Thank goodness we have God to lean on as we detach from our EC.

Norske same with me 6, 8 and 11.... I have listened to Josh Coleman too, I don't think anything will fix this... except God..

I had a session with Josh Coleman via telephone. He listened while I told him all about my soon-to-be DIL and after listening he said she has narcisstic personality disorder and there wasn't anything I could do to get her to like me. It has been very hard to pray for her and forgive her for causing all this estrangement with my son.

But now I pray that God will just hug her so tight that He will squeeze all the hate out of her and replace it with love and forgiveness.

You are right kathy128 - only God can fix this.

Norske same with my DIL, but now my ES doesn't believe in God either... I am lost at what to do now other than let God handle this... It is way out of my control...

Since my DIL told me she had "her own faith" and didn't need what I had, I wonder if my ES has given up his beliefs too. He was always very outspoken about his faith. He tried to get her to go to church with him. But his human nature love for her was so strong that he turned his back on anything and everything she didn't want in her life, mainly his family.

That's why I know in my heart I will never see my son again unless 1) they get a divorce or 2) God touches her heart. God is good; I have to trust him.

8, 9 and 11 pretty much sum it up for me!!

My husband and I have 3 children, 2 twin boys 23 years old and a 17 year old daughter that have turned against us with no cause. We have given them everything, a good education, college, private music lessons, sports and now they have become strangers. The holidays were extremely tough. I don’t know how to deal with it all

Shoshana, I am sorry to hear about your distressing story. This forum is very slow and the original post is from 2013. I am going to give you the link to the more popular forum. It is not just Christians though. I find that Done with the Crying is the most helpful book I have found. The ones that teach to make multiple amends letters and constantly try are not helpful to my. healing. I would also suggest maybe you find a good counselor or therapist to talk about this with but interview them first. Many don't know about estrangement or are of the "make amends" or "it is always the parents fault or duty to keep trying" stuff. That self blame keeps us unhappy. It is normal for teenagers and. young 20's to learn to live an independent life. Things change for parents. Our adult children want to live different lives or do their own thing. We parents often have expectations that if we just raise our kids a certain way, we will have the mythical happy family, close family, best friends forever. But this is a myth. Most families do not have children that stay children forever. They grow and change and are on their own path with God. It is tough to watch them do the opposite of what we taught them or when they are mean or cruel to parents or even abusive. Here is the more active forum: https://www.dailystrength.org/groups#my

Thanks so much for the useful article. It's easier, though I won't say "nice", to know that other people have this "stuff" go on too.