CHRISTIAN PARENTS of ESTRANGED ADULT CHILDREN Community Group

Estrangement makes it difficult to talk about with family, friends, neighbors and church members. Christians are NOT immune to broken families. Talk about your experiences with those who know how you feel and get positive support through your Christian faith...."In these last days difficult times will come, for men will be lovers of self...disobedient to parents,...

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/ CHRISTIAN PARENTS of ESTRANGED ADULT CHILDREN Support Group

New and need prayer

peaksalps
peaksalps
Hi all! I am new here on this forum. I started out on the Secular Estrangement group not knowing there was this one. I thank God I found you! You don't even know how much! The way you all talk and praise God even in the midst of this awful heartbreak has been like a breath of fresh air! Keep it up!

I have been estranged from my Daughter who has my little grandson for 10 weeks. It was a stupid disagreement where they blamed us for stupid things like not waking him up on time and giving him a cookie. Anyway, yesterday I was going to work at the church garage sale and there, right in front of me was my daughter and my grandson. It was so obvious God ordained that meeting! (I was just praying the day before that I wouldn't go a head of Him and contact them because He made it very clear, a couple different ways, that my husband and I were to wait on Him.)

I was so amazed at how great I handled it! (all God!) I had worried for weeks about accidentally bumping into them and how I was going to act. I just walked right up to her and hugged her and said hello, and put my stuff down to welcome my sweet baby, who didn't forget me, consequentially, and ran to play with him. Oh, that was so great!

Anyway, my daughter came over and started talking to me about how long it'd been since we'd talk and so on and so forth. I'm sure you all know the drill. It's all our fault, etc. etc. etc. She asked if we'd have dinner with them and I said we could have coffee. So, today, at 2:00 Arizona Time, we are going to be sitting down with them to hash this out. Please pray for me and my husband that we let God do the talking and not our emotions. At that God's will be done. I'm not sure I want to reconcile. The question is, do I want the drama of mourning the loss of the relationships or do I want to have the drama of them in my life? Only God knows that answer, I'm leaving it to Him.

Thanks for you prayers and thank you again for this group!
soverysadmom
soverysadmom
Yes, with my es and his wife there is always another reason why we can't reconcile. If I get one thing straight with him, then he will go home and she will come up with two more reasons to keep us away. It is a horrible cycle. I just pray. It is all I have left to do.
peaksalps
peaksalps
I keep on thinking of ways to make her understand what she is doing, you are right, savedbyhim, it's all about her. She said in her letter she didn't want her children watching us decline in health. We are getting older, we are going to decline in health! It's just so crazy.

Miss Peggy, I find myself in this loop of trying to show her the truth of the situation and realizing she's not going to listen and then feeling sad and resigned to letting her and my grandbabies go. I know there is nothing me or my husband can do to be perfect enough, it's just so sad we have to be.

Thanks for your kind words, everyone. It's like nourishment to my soul.
savedbyhim45
savedbyhim45
It is a shame but the bible tells us in 2 timothy 3:2 of the world and how things are. We have to rely on God. We don't have control over what others do , even children that we have raised and poured so much energy in. Someone said that our EC don't have to honor us, they have made the choice of rejecting Gods commandments, and therefore reject us. Jesus even said that mother will be set against daughter, son against mother or father , etc. It is a very painful reality but the pain does lessen over time. It never goes away but our faith helps us tremendously to endure such pain and our faith grows stronger. We are also still valued and loved by God and he can still use us to love and help others.
feellinghelpless
feellinghelpless
It has only been 10 weeks. Things can change. My ED was gone for 2 and a half years and God changed her heart. She left a note with very hurtful things, but when she came back she said she didn't mean any of it.
She's going through something that makes her afraid of death or she's just using it as an excuse. Just send notes occasionally (don't bombard her) just letting her know you're thinking of her and love her. Send whatever messages you can to your gc. She needs to know she has loving parents to come back to
peaksalps
peaksalps
feelinghelpless, we were asked NOT to contact them at all, so we are not able to even send presents to my GC. I think that's sad because they are just using them to punish us and then the poor kids are the ones getting punished. They are losing their wonderful, loving, fun Grandparents because Mom is throwing a temper tantrum.

I pray for the day my ED dawn our doorstep with a humble heart. I can't see how that's ever going to happen, but I am praying for it almost every minute of every day.

I'm so glad to hear your daughter came back to you. God is good!