CHRISTIAN PARENTS of ESTRANGED ADULT CHILDREN Community Group
Estrangement makes it difficult to talk about with family, friends, neighbors and church members. Christians are NOT immune to broken families. Talk about your experiences with those who know how you feel and get positive support through your Christian faith...."In these last days difficult times will come, for men will be lovers of self...disobedient to parents,...
Well...I had been doing so well. Most of you know my sad story....total estrangement from son #2, then in May an impromptu visit which went so well, then silence, then the hateful email in September saying he wanted no more contact, and to quit sending gifts to them (and the children)....so I didn't. I did send a Christmas card, but that was it. Well today my HUSBAND (not me) got an email from him saying he was "offering a one time only offer" that he and ONLY HE was allowed to come to see him and his children. Not me. He was very explicit on that. My husband showed me the email. My heart is broken. I knew we would hear from him again. But I am the "hated one". He said only my husband is allowed because he is the "only one who has shown consistency". What does that mean? So basically I sat and prayed, and prayed, and prayed, while my husband replied to the email. Before he sent it, he showed me what he typed in response. Basically what he said was, "Son, so good to hear from you. I would love to see you guys sometime. I miss you so much and I love you more than anything. Since you are a father yourself I am sure you know what I mean. Love dad." And that was that. Basically he volleyed the ball back into his court. I even told my husband to go. Go see the boys. But he refuses. He won't go without me. My heart is broken in two. I am so sad right now and I can't stop crying.
My ED ran from one side of the court to the other for years. It leaves everyone in a state of confusion. "She loves me, she loves me not." Mom, then dad, then mom, then dad. Yikes...
My ED has in the end chosen her dad. Her dad who was unfaithful, abandon us for three years when they were toddlers, then broke up the family for his mistress years later, who left him after he wouldn't marry her. Shows you what poor judgement our EC have.
I have so much respect for your DH for putting you first, and not willing to cause you more pain by visiting them without you. I wish my ex-husband were that caring. You and your DH have one another, and you both have our Lord to help you walk through this...