I know how you feel. Sometimes it seems that life is more of a chore than a joy. You see people on the television hopping and skipping through the Celebrex commercials and you wonder, "Is this the way my life is supposed to be? What is wrong with me?"

I'm reading a book by Joni Eareckson Tada called "A Lifetime of Wisdom: Embracing the Way God Heals You." You might find it helpful. She talks a lot about heaven in other books and in this one, but she speaks about suffering and how the Lord uses it in our lives to teach us things that we wouldn't be able to learn otherwise. You can probably find it at the library, but if not it's on Amazon.

Someday we will go home, and all of this will be behind us. I don't know what it's going to be like, but I know that He doesn't want us to come before He calls us. Be encouraged that he is watching you and loving you and also watching and loving those you love.

The chapter I'm reading now is about how God listens to our prayers even when we don't feel like we can pray any more. His peace be with you.

Tikva - what wonderful words you have, for gma6, and for all of us. Indeed God doesn't want us home before He calls us. My mother used to tell us that when we were young and so many people seemed to be committing suicide in the 60's.

I know God gave us each different gifts but sometimes it is difficult to see and understand why we received a harder burden than someone else. Maybe their time of testing hasn't come yet.

But today is a new day - a gift from God - and we need to embrace it.

I feel just the same as you do gma6.

I feel as if my purpose for being on earth is over now. I have raised my children and they have their own nuclear families.

I really do not have anything to look forward to and have lost interest in everything that gave me joy before - simple pleasures such as reading, knitting, embroidering, taking the dogs for walks.

I feel that if I expired, it would really not matter to anyone.

I used to get such joy from making things for my grandchildren and even my adult children - sweaters and such - but three of them have rejected my gifts.

It gave me such joy to give them things I could not afford in my own young parenthood for my children - for their children. I loved imagining them opening up parcels of goodies.

It seemed to be a primal need for me to do this. And now that too has been taken from me.

But thank God I still have three grandchildren I can still send things to and three sons that still care for me very much. I try to concentrate on that but there is still a hole where the others were especially the little one who came into my home straight from her birth and into my arms. My eldest granddaughter now an aspiring and very tall beautiful model who travels all over the world is so busy with her life. I was at her birth. I held her before her mother did. I would love just a postcard for Nanna - just a little bit of kindness perhaps a thank you for a birthday gift - but this is the way of the world today and her mother is one of my ED's and has obviously influenced her.

My crime I will repeat for those that do not know is that I reported my youngest daughter's ex and the father of his child for molesting her and for physically assaulting me (he assaulted her in my presence and she was only four at the time). For this, I became the messenger who was shot in the foot. My youngest daughter and two of her siblings turned right against me.

They tell you to report abuse and this is what happens when you do. It resulted in a court case during which this manipulative guy was found to be innocent (!) which made me look even worse. In his affidavit he said "I would never do such a thing" and when they asked my five year old granddaughter she responded "My daddy would never do such a thing". I believe and told them so, that she had been rehearsed. Now her mother hates me and I am estranged from that precious little one.

In retaliation, my ED accused my husband of molesting her!! Oh my, we never know what paths our lives will take.

I made an error in the above - it should read that "he physically assaulted her" not me. He put his knee into my granddaughters little tummy while holding her down as she choked on her tears and nasal secretions almost going blue as he forced her in this position without waiting for her to calm down or stop crying or catch her breath - whilst dressing her for creche!!

I think what we forget is that the children we gave birth to, or adopted, are a "gift" from God - and they are./were on loan.

Remember the verse about there is a time and season for everything......? We had our season of raising our children but there is so much more in this life that God wants us to experience and embrace.

If it is children that we miss, our children, let's find other children who need and want our love and attention. Why not make clothes for children in a homeless shelter, for instance? Can you imagine the smiles on their little faces at getting a scarf or pair of gloves to keep them warm. God wants us to reach out to ALL HIS CHILDREN.

When I knew I had no grandchild (mine has never met me) to give my baby doll and cradle my grandfather made for me to, I gave it to my neighbor whose grandchildren love and cherish it. I feel good about that.

God created us to serve him in many ways and raising our children was just one of the assignments he gave us. And we raised them well. But because of free will, they are not following God's path. All we can do is pray for them and work hard to listen to what else God wants us to do in our earthly lives.

Thanks Norske. I must say I have wondered how much of my feeling down has to do simply, with the Empty Nest Syndrome.

But before the estrangement, with an empty home after six children - we were coping well with visits from our ED and son who live in the same town as us.

It has much to do with the militant and reckless way our EC move out of our lives - and they do it completely an utterly.

I am waiting to hear about a job and if I do not get it, I am definitely going to try to volunteer at some creches or nursery schools. Your ideas are excellent. We have so much to give - why not give to others? Yes, yes, yes!

To those here who say they want to go home please realize that God still has plans for you. You have been given gifts to use for Him and others. You can be such a blessing to others. The needy are all around. Giving would bring such joy to your heart. I am preaching to myself. We give to others as unto the Lord. Who knows? Not for that reason but your EC (and my ED) may see how we are moving forward in the strength of God and this could be used in their lives for a positive change. Although, whatever happens we will know that we have woken up each morning thanking God for the gift of that day. Life is short and lift is precious.

My Christian and wise Mother who is sick and nearing the end of her life soon will tell us all that 93 years went very quickly. My former Christian College president always ended his broadcasts with the words, "Walk with the King today and be a blessing". Lord, help me to do that with your help.