CHRISTIAN PARENTS of ESTRANGED ADULT CHILDREN Community Group
Estrangement makes it difficult to talk about with family, friends, neighbors and church members. Christians are NOT immune to broken families. Talk about your experiences with those who know how you feel and get positive support through your Christian faith...."In these last days difficult times will come, for men will be lovers of self...disobedient to parents,...
Yesterday was my b-day,My son and dil went to W.Virgina to seeher family and my son didnt want to tell us so he called and wished me a happy B-day,and we hung up and my dh had to call him back for some reason,he didnt answer so dh called his home phone and hi step-daughter told dh he was in w virgina,when we did get hold of our son he lied and said he was at a store with gs,my dh stopped him in his tracks told tostop lying and was no reason to lie about this he is a grown man,and then my dil sent me a video of my 3 yr old gs holding up his bottle of atarax and telling him that was his "crazy nerve medicine",I lost it texther back and told her he didnt say those words on his own and whoever is labeling him this way should be ashame,and that the only onee one that has "Crazy Nerves " was her and me,that medicine is used for his itching and i think she is using it for sedation,and that he is just a baby he shouldnt even know those words,it was sosad the way gs was saying it "crazy nerve medicine for mason,my name on it" and the mother kept asking him over,over.i have cried off andon and i tolddh i am keeping tthis video.What is wrong with her,my dhsaid dil is mad most likely and like the way i spoke to her,i dont care i will speak up for my gs.My son must not be aware of what i told her let her bring it on i am ready for this little lady, enough
We need to encourage one another on here and someone causing division is so hurtful.
"When two people marry, they become one flesh. You can dislike your DIL's all you want, but they are now married, and your sons' primary commitment is to their wives, not to their parents. You are best to keep your distance, and let them work out their own issues within their marriages."
and then this:
""STOP BREAKING YOUR OWN HEART"
I found a lot of wisdom there. And I see that was something LindaJoan already knew, because early on, she said this:
"It seems that if a DIL is so hard to be with that it would give you more peace to see them less often. When she does things like this video it might be best just to ignore her."
Which makes a whole lotta sense!
If we give the people who hurt us *any* kind of attention, it just spurs them on. And reacting to what they do IS giving them attention, even if we have every right to react that way! It's a negative kind of attention, but it's exactly what they are looking for! So, think about it. When we ignore them, there is no reaction, positive or negative. There is just nothing. Once they realize that their clever tricks aren't getting a response, it's no fun anymore. So they stop.
I don't have a crazy DIL -- not that I know of, anyway :-) But I do have a crazy ex, who toyed with the kids, caused the estrangement, and tortured me with it for years -- because I let him. I was *there,* trying to fix things, and of course every attempt I made was "wrong." I was nothing more to them than dinner-table talk -- all of it nasty and all of it made to others who they knew would make sure I knew it. Then one day I decided to I let him and his craziness be. Actually, I walked away -- physically! I crossed 2 state lines and moved hundreds of miles away, closed my social media accounts, and changed my email address and phone number. At first he ridiculed me, laughing with the kids about how he *finally* got rid of me, but pretty soon they all ran out of jokes and horror stories to tell about mom. When they talk to others and ask about me, all they get is, "she moved, didn't you know that?" Who'da thunk it!!!
So, now it doesn't suck so much to be me. . . now it sucks to be them!
In reality I have to ask if someone comes in here with all the answers then why are they here at all ?? The one who mentioned that we should not 'attack' the DILs has did the same thing in other posts.
Oh me oh my....take the log out of your own eye.
Yep...Shalom to all who enter. But I guess we must also but put on the 'whole armour of God too'.