CHRISTIAN PARENTS of ESTRANGED ADULT CHILDREN Community Group

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/ CHRISTIAN PARENTS of ESTRANGED ADULT CHILDREN Support Group

i lost it with dil

edr1961
edr1961
Yesterday was my b-day,My son and dil went to W.Virgina to seeher family and my son didnt want to tell us so he called and wished me a happy B-day,and we hung up and my dh had to call him back for some reason,he didnt answer so dh called his home phone and hi step-daughter told dh he was in w virgina,when we did get hold of our son he lied and said he was at a store with gs,my dh stopped him in his tracks told tostop lying and was no reason to lie about this he is a grown man,and then my dil sent me a video of my 3 yr old gs holding up his bottle of atarax and telling him that was his "crazy nerve medicine",I lost it texther back and told her he didnt say those words on his own and whoever is labeling him this way should be ashame,and that the only onee one that has "Crazy Nerves " was her and me,that medicine is used for his itching and i think she is using it for sedation,and that he is just a baby he shouldnt even know those words,it was sosad the way gs was saying it "crazy nerve medicine for mason,my name on it" and the mother kept asking him over,over.i have cried off andon and i tolddh i am keeping tthis video.What is wrong with her,my dhsaid dil is mad most likely and like the way i spoke to her,i dont care i will speak up for my gs.My son must not be aware of what i told her let her bring it on i am ready for this little lady, enough
sadmom51
sadmom51
These crazy DIL are out of control....i would like to know who raised them.....I can't blame it all on the parents but seriously who raised these girls to grow up to be such jerks....and doing that to her own kid on video....it just makes me sick........why can't our sons wake up and smell the roses and leave these psycho women......and find a nice normal girl to marry.......these psycho DIL are NEVER going to change......it is so sad.......I am sorry you had to see that video and I am sorry your DIL is an evil Witch like mine
lindajoan
lindajoan
I am sorry that you go through this with your difficult DIL. I am sorry that your son lied also. It seems that if a DIL is so hard to be with that it would give you more peace to see them less often. When she does things like this video it might be best just to ignore her. It seems as if she is doing it to diliberately bother you.
poodlegirl61
poodlegirl61
I am so sorry about your DIL's behavior. Honestly, sometimes in addition to an Estrangement group we almost need a separate one for Crazy DILs. Really, I have issues with both. I didn't have an estrangement issue until my son married Lindsay. And it isn't that I didn't like her...I WANTED another DIL! But she is crazy (or possessed). She has severe mental problems, that is true, but sometimes I wonder how many times mental problems are really demon possession. Anyway, you have my deepest sympathies.
agrandmothersheart
agrandmothersheart
When I married my first husband at the age of 19, I was a shy insecure young woman. My mother and father-in-law both did not like me, and it made my marriage difficult. We ended up divorcing after 18 years, which created a great deal of pain for me and both my children. Had they simply allowed me to be myself, and mature, without interference, and accusations of coming between them and their son, I believe our marriage may have survived.

When two people marry, they become one flesh. You can dislike your DIL's all you want, but they are now married, and your sons' primary commitment is to their wives, not to their parents. You are best to keep your distance, and let them work out their own issues within their marriages.
agrandmothersheart
agrandmothersheart
My father still calls me and asks where I am.... and I'm 50 years old. Truthfully I don't like when he does this.. my whereabouts are none of his business. It is possible your son simply did not feel you needed to know where he was... and he would be correct in that.
poodlegirl61
poodlegirl61
Agrandmothersheart, I couldn't agree with you more. That is why I have NEVER interfered or tried to undermine my DILS in any way. In fact, when my oldest son asks my opinion on certain subjects, I always defer to my DIL and tell him "what does your wife think?" That is just how I am. I don't want to step on her turf or cause any rifts, so I always keep a careful distance. But that isn't what is going on with my ES's wife. She is truly crazy-demon possessed. It has nothing to do with me not liking her. She had problems BEFORE she met my son, and had already been married three times prior to meeting him. Sadly, she is a very sick, albeit manipulative person. I just wish she would let me see my grandchildren.
agrandmothersheart
agrandmothersheart
Yes, I understand that not every situation is the same. I noticed a trend in the threads recently, blaming estrangement on DIL's and stating they are evil, etc. I just wanted to state my opinion, since that's what these forums are for. The Bible clearly says a man is to leave his father and mother and cleave unto his wife. Marriage is difficult enough these days, with the divorce rate ever rising. We need to support and encourage our children in their marriages, whether we agree with their choices or not. They are all adults and have made their decisions, and we need to respect those decisions. That's all I'm saying.

However estrangement occurs, it is always painful. Some of these threads, however, have nothing to do with estrangement.
poodlegirl61
poodlegirl61
Oh no, I completely understand where you are coming from and I agree with you. Maybe I shouldn't say "evil" anymore. I apologize if I offended anyone. I guess "mentally unstable" would be more appropriate. I will say, though, that most doctors are going to be looking for a medical reason for these behaviors and I do believe in demons and sometimes I think that is what is going on. Please forgive me if I offended you. That was not my intent.
edr1961
edr1961
thank you all i think i am bringing my own sadness,and heartache,
edr1961
edr1961
My dh has been talking with me and i think he has accept things better than i, He tells me he hates to see me cry and that i am going to make myself sick. And that we have to let go, and that he knows its going to hurt but we have to move on.And that we need each other there is no one else but us.I'm tireed of begging for visits with gs,its just an emotional rollercoaster,any advice to lessen the hurt i would love to hear
lindajoan
lindajoan
Your DH sounds like a wise man. With God's strength we can let go and let God. Then we commit the situation to prayer. God is able and will give peace.
edr1961
edr1961
thanks for your kindness,i know i sound like a broken record and i'm so sorry for it. I'm sure most of everyone can relate to my hurt and i my heart goes out to all of you to.But this is the hardest thing, i think if my gs was not involved i could handle it better, my son is grown he has made his life my gs is a innocent 3 yr old, and i know he isnot mine. And nothing i can do and i know i take a chance on not seeing him but when i see how his little mind is being formed ihave to be the his voice,dil had her oldest child tookaway from her,and now i can see why i think. I promised my dh i am going to try very hard.thank you all
agrandmothersheart
agrandmothersheart
Edr, I am sorry if my post seemed harsh. I assure you my intention is not to hurt you, but to give you a different perspective (I was labelled the horrible dil when I was young... and I'm far from horrible).

We are all in pain, all of us on this site. As lindajoan always points out, the answer is to ask God to help us. He will.
MountainGirl56
MountainGirl56
I recently read an affirmation that resonated with me, it said...

"STOP BREAKING YOUR OWN HEART".

Jesus gas got this - take care of you, while He takes care of them.

MG
edr1961
edr1961
Agrandmothersheart no harm done, that has already been done by my family lol,have to laugh and i'm sure we all hurtthat is for sure.I didnt have issues with dil until my gs health,being took advantage of started but i have had a peaceful day didnt think much of them.