Guelsmom, that last post was not referring to your post. I just thought I could see how some may mis-interpret what I said. I just wanted to make that clear.

Barbell, you just made me think of my own son, I have always prayed for him to stop treating me so badly. What I SHOULD be praying for is for my son to be closer to God, not me. Good point!

Some days I feel numb. I think this is God's kindness to me -- it gives me a break from the sadness and helps me do what I need to do. I don't think it is an indication that my love for my ES is any less because other days I miss him so much it HURTS. I want to hear his voice, make his favorite meal, hear about his day. I could not live like that every day. It has been 5 years for us.

michimom....We are here for you no matter what your story is. Letting go is so difficult and we are all working on that. I'm glad you have joined us and I hope you will be able to see something that will help you find a way to let go - we're with you.

It is never pleasant to be rejected by our own children! There are many awesome moms here who have much wisdom and experience dealing with their ECs. Hope you are able to find peace and comfort here while we all try to cope and deal with our own situations.

Don't look at this estrangement as a lifetime. Take one day at a time. Thing may very well change in the future and possibly the near future. I have no idea how things will end with this, but I have faith that my son can't walk away from his parents forever. I have decided to not live the rest of my life like this and I do have goals for myself. The holidays are always hard but with the New Year it is getting better. For DH and I, snowstorms and freezing temps are a blessing in disguise because they help us to keep busy and refocus out thoughts.

Psalms 55:22 ...."Cast thy burden upon the Lord, and he shall sustain thee: he shall never suffer the righteous to be moved."

I truly believe this

michimom Being estranged from our children is sad and it often (as in the case of our ED) happened in very difficult ways.

We are here for you and the Lord will help you one day at a time as GuelsMom said.

God bless you.

Thank you, GuelsMom

Thank you lindajoan for your response. I appreciate the honesty of those posting here. It is so nice to not have to 'pretend'.

Welcome michimom. I have joined a prayer group for moms of prodigal adult children. I have a post of 21 days of prayer if you want to pray them. And we all pray together and storm Heaven's gate. Please join us.

gordos, I can relate...... I think it is perhaps working towards BEING unconditional in our LOVE through Christ, but loving in a different manner now that will no longer tolerate the disrespect, lies, manipulation, temper tantrums, or whatever other chaos and grief they may have exhibited towards us. Through prayer, I just flat out told God I can NOT go on like this, but help me see her with YOUR eyes........ Well, my heart has softened and my anger is not full time any more.