Be thankful for what you get, which you're doing when you get a response. I think you have hope since he asked how you were. Christmas is hard. Last Christmas was my 1st without my ED. I forced myself to put up the tree and keep everything as normal as possible for the rest of the family. It still wasn't the same, but it kept me focused on something else. Try to find something you can focus on besides your ES. Welcome to this site.

Welcome here Soverysad. Estrangement is just that, very sad. It is so against the love and grace of God. It is good that your ES at least texts back. May I ask his age?

God bless you.

Thanks everyone. lindajoan my son is 21. I know he is young and trying to find his way in life. Also he has a girlfriend that has a tremendous influence over him.

What I find so amazing is that person after person comes to this site, and they all tell basically the same story. There are little differences, but everyone seems to be suffering the same thing and for the same reasons. No one has some outlandish tale to tell. Just one day their children decided they were no longer needed and they dumped them.

Sometimes I feel like an old cat that was left by the side of the road, and I somehow wandered into the pound, and now all of us cats and dogs are telling how our owners abandoned us.

If you make the mistake like I did of trying to confide in others who haven't been through it, they just want to know what you did to make them upset.

Very true Soverysad. Others try to make sense of the senseless so to speak. Yes, 21 is very young for a male. It is a rough world for boys to mature in. It is good for your ES to know that you love him and that the door is open. He probably already knows.

sovery....... I and DH also have an ES who became estranged when his now wife made him choose between his family or her. Youth and hormones didn't help. He chose her and we haven't seen him for over 6 years. Keep praying and if possible, maybe suggest to him he invite his gf to come to dinner or lunch or meet the 2 at a restaurant, anything to let her see how wonderful his mom is.

You are in my prayers.

I think one of the most unusual estrangement stories I have heard on here was because a mother served her son spaghetti for supper instead of steak when he stopped by for when visiting from out of town.

(Must have served it without meatball??)

I think one of the most unusual estrangement stories I have heard on here was because a mother served her son spaghetti for supper instead of steak when he stopped by for a visit when flying into town.

(Must have served it without meatball??)

Our EDs and ESs and there spouses live in a fantasy world.

Thanks everyone. Part of the problem happened when my son and his girlfriend came to visit (separate bedrooms) back last winter. My son's girlfriend constantly puts him down but I tried to be nice anyway. They are talking marriage. I think she may be making him choose. I am trying to form a relationship with her too by email in hopes that she won't shut me out totally. But they still won't agree to see us. We offered to drive to where they are or meet them anywhere they choose but my son says no.

You can humanly do no more than leave the door open with love and grace. Just pray that God will work on them.

I think all of our stories are the same because the author of our 'yuck' is the same. satan. satan is not creative. All he can do is the same thing over and over and over again-destroy.

I'm so sorry soverysadmom that you are living this yuck in your life. But, I'm very grateful that you've found this site early on!

Satan's YUCK!!! What a great way to put it. That's why we have to hold on to God's Word to get us through this. Hugs to all of you on this site.

Sure do understand your situation...my oldest son (now ES) has cut us out of his life completely for over 2 years now. We understand that they need to grow up and leave their parent(s), however, I never knew that "leaving and cleaving" meant complete cutting off??? I was only hoping for the occasional call, and visit, and acknowledgement that we are still alive...not asking for daily reports and connection..just once a month maybe???

Well..so glad you are here because you will get a lot of great support and much wisdom from others who are journeying through estrangement just as you are. Be encouraged today...stay focused on God who loves you so much and understands your sadness over missing the connection to your son.

My son has to make his own way in life. It causes me more grief to know that he has been deliberate in cutting God out of his life, which automatically cuts my dear husband (his Dad) and other siblings out of his life as well...

Praying every day that our estranged adults find the Lord this Christmas season, or at least take some time to hear His still small loving voice calling out to them. It might just be the lyrics in a Christmas song declaring Jesus' somehow...Silent Night...Away in a Manger...Joy to the World...

You're going to be ok....((((hugs)))
Maddie