I forgot to mention that I just joined this group and it is my first time to post.

I've about given up hope of ever having a close relationship with my daughter this side of Heaven and hope this doesn't continue into eternity! That would be hell! :'(

TabithaGrace, welcome to our group. I am so very sorry your hurting. We all can relate to what you are going through, since the rest of us are essentially in the same position. Feel free to share from your heart whenever you feel the need... it's very therapeutic. Keep trusting God... breakthrough will come.

May God comfort your broken heart, we understand the pain. God is grieving with you. Have you tried talking to your daughter or send a letter explaining how much this is hurting you?

Hi TabithaGrace, I joined the group about a month ago and feel your pain as I have only one child, a daughter, who stopped speaking to me out of the clear blue over 7 months ago when I thought everything was great between us. She sent me an email accusing me of things that are not true and told me she needed space from me. She refuses to discuss it with my mom who knows the truth, but has no problem discussing why she cut me off with others. She's in college still. I've sent her numerous texts, emails and called her but she doesn't respond as if I no longer exist. The pain is excruciating. Have you tried sitting down with your daughter to share with her how her distant behavior is affecting you and that you would love to have a closer relationship with her? Maybe that would open up a dialogue so you can find out why she is cold with you. Perhaps she is still angry that you weren't close before and needs for you to validate her feelings and to ask for her forgiveness without getting defensive or giving excuses, even though you have legitimate reasons. Adult children who behave like that have never really matured emotionally, so you almost need to interact with her as if she's a child who can't be reasoned with yet. She may need to vent and know that you understand how she feels, as long as she isn't abusive. I don't know if you've tried that. I'm just offering an alternative in case you haven't tried to communicate with her on a deeper and more intimate level. She hasn't cut you off completely, so there could be hope of bringing her closer if you're willing to show her vulnerability even if she doesn't react immediately.

Tabitha, We welcome you here. We care and we understand. We are here to support you.

In thinking about your question "How can I cope?" My answer to that question would be that I can not cope but He can. With God all things are possible. By His grace and by His strength only can we cope and go forward one day at a time.

Sometime the most we can do is to pray for our EC. When they come to God He will change their hearts. We pray for them and we live our lives to honor God before them. Praying for you.

Blessed Easter!

Lindajoan, have you reconciled with your EC?

Still praying for our ED. Three years plus ago I tried just about everything when our ED left home at 20. She tried to destroy us with betrayal and lies. My DH and I realized that only God could do the work in her. Recently, I heard from a friend of our ED that she might consider having contact. She lives very close by and has been through a lot. I'm sure the enemy will try to stop all that God has started. We are all in a battle. It is spiritual. The battle belongs to the Lord. He is our victorious King. He works behind the scenes. We can trust Him.

Too heartbroken, Saying a prayer for you. Your ED needs you although she may not know it,yet. God bless you.

What helped me when our son became estranged was reading the topic on here a few years ago called "detachment". I learned to look at the absence of my son as merely detachment, not permanent, and put him in God's hands.

If you have a husband, cherish your time with him. Your daughter is an adult and has her own life and hopefully will become close with you again, but in the meantime, remember first you are to love God, second love your husband, and third love your children.

I lost my husband to cancer 4 months ago and I would give anything to have him back in my life. He was my soul mate. Cherish your time with your husband and ask God to touch your daughter's heart.

Beautifully said, Norske.

Thanks for all the great suggestions everyone! It was comforting and therapeutic to read all your responses. I am so glad I found this group!

With the holiday, and having out of town company, it took me a while to reply. I want to say more but it might have to wait another day until I catch up. :)

I do want to take a minute to respond to the suggestion to talk to my daughter which was made by savedbyhim45 and tooheartbroken.

Unfortunately, I am a huge chicken! I am so afraid to talk to her! Actually, I am just not very good at communicating my feelings with anyone. It scares me! I'm not sure why. :/

And tooheartbroken, my heart aches for you, too, because I know and understand that excruciating pain you are dealing with. My daughter did that to me when she was younger, too.

Oh, and I almost forgot to add that when I was praying about my daughter, I felt like God said that He was going to restore our relationship, but I heard him say, "When you are ready".

And what exactly is THAT supposed to mean?! You mean I'm not ready now? What do I have to do to get ready?!

And I agree with lindajoan, that was very beautifully said, Norske1! In fact, I've already been thinking the same thing. I'm sorry for your loss. It must be very difficult for you! So how are things with your son now?

I believe that is true of God. His timing is perfect. He does not always let us know the reasons. There may be more that the Lord wants to share with you about reconciliation, about ourselves, and most about Him during this time. He loves when we take the time to be in His presence and put Him first. I am preaching to myself.

TabothaGrace., my advice is to listen to that little voice telling you you're not ready. I heard that voice close to 3 years ago now, telling me to let my children go (the estrangement really hadn't gone very deep yet) and you would not believe the events that followed ... you really would not believe so I won't bother telling them here. I believe God spoke that word into my life in order to protect me. I did not listen very well but I know beyond a shadow of doubt that it was from God.

Although my own estrangement has been more painful than anything I've ever been through (I'm now reconciled with my daughter) it has made me reach out to God and develop my relationship with him. I had no choice--it was either do that or fall into deep depression. I also have discovered there is freedom in estrangement. I'll explain this part...

I have siblings who are very critical and sarcastic of anyone who is different than they. I happen to be different and have been ridiculed throughout my life. They have been a huge part of the estrangement. Now, this hurts. I've been excluded from many events, however.... I am also free to be myself. I write about God's love and grace and post my writings. I don't have to be afraid of receiving ridicule because they have no contact with me. I associate with people who love me and value who I am as a person. Were I to have consistent contact with my siblings, I honestly don't think I'd be as willing to share from my heart for fear of becoming a target once again. It has hurt, yes... incredibly so. But, I am beginning to see how God is working it all for HIs purposes, for His glory.

Dear Tabitha, when the E happened with my youngest D I was so devistated I could hardly function , must less have faith, Time heals all wounds. I want to share a link to something I get in my email daily. Hope it helps, Hugs
http://kcm.mkt6566.com/PreferenceCenter/Opt-Out?spMailingID=22425584&spUserID=OTAwNDYxNTgwNDkS1&spJobID=NTQwNTY5MzA5S0&spReportId=NTQwNTY5MzA5S0