Praise God for your good husband. My good husband is my best friend and not they have diagnosed him with cancer in many areas of his body and the prognosis is not good. We have prayer warriors everywhere. Hopefully our ES will come to his census and come see his dad. It has been over 7 years.

Kathy, I understand. There comes a time when you must say I'm done. Not I'm done loving my EC but that you must put them in God'a hands and let go for your own sake.

God bless you Norske.

I'm so sorry Kathy. I understand too. We hope against hope for a breakthrough, but none comes. So now, we must learn how to cope with what is. May God comfort you and sustain you and give you a new perspective on life.

I have a good husband too. He gave me a Mother's day card and cooked breakfast for me. He hates to see me suffering from ec neglect.

Barbell, before the deep estrangement occurred for me I felt God telling me, "you need to let your children go….I have other things for you to do." At the time I was confused because I had no idea what was ahead for me. A few short months later it all started. I believe God really did prepare me for what was to come. (although I have to admit I took a while to let go)

We all have different paths in life. Ours might not involve our children to the extent we would like it to. We must accept that in order to do the work we are to do for God's glory.

I'd like to share my full story here some day. Maybe I will soon.

Life will push you, beat you down, and stomp your face to the floor. Never give up on the people you love, because you are alive and here for a reason. Prove to everyone that you are bigger then what they think. Stand up after all the scars have tried to tear you down. Remember, it's difficult to wait but more difficult to regret. Your patience and faithfulness maybe exactly what they need to make a complete turnaround. Furthermore, God said trials are not reasons to give up, but a challenge to improve our lives. Give them time, give them space, give them love, but don't give them up. Hard times are not an excuse to back out, it is an inspiration to move forward. God does not give up on us and we should never give up as long as we are alive and breathing.

CanadianMoth..... when you are ready I would love to read your story. I have wondered what God wants me to do for the rest of my life to honor Him. I believe he gave us children to raise and learn about God, then when they become adults we are to give them back so God can work in their lives. But I do not think God meant for them to estrange from us.

So I continue to ask God what he wants me to do with the rest of my life. Right now I believe my purpose is to be strong for my husband who is dealing with cancer.

Concentrate on your husband and I'm sure you have other family that love you. Remember family isn't always related by blood! I have been ignored since Dec. 2012 and it's not fun. I do NOT text or call. I DO send cards for birthdays and holidays because that is the right thing to do FOR ME! The door is open for them, but they aren't ready and maybe never will be, but that is up to them not me. God has a plan and sometimes I don't really like waiting for HIS timing but what is my choice? I have so much to be grateful for and sometimes I forget too. There is love all around you!!! Prayers do work too! I will keep you in my prayers and ask you to pray for ME! My oldest gets married this Saturday and I've got plans for a busy day, but she will be on my mind and I just want to have a great day and NOT break down!! Thank you!

texas...... wise words. We were invited to our ES's wedding but not the groom's dinner, which my DH wanted to pay for. We heard that at the groom's dinner they told everyone we refused to come. Really????? We have been estranged for almost 7 years. A friend of my other son messaged my ES about his father's cancer diagnosis. My ES wrote back "I'm processing it".....whatever that means.

Yes, you are also right about family doesn't have to be blood related. I have believed that always. I will be thinking about you and praying for you this Saturday.

Hello.
Below Doverfox below suggested never to give up on them and hard times aren't an excuse to back out. I can't tell you how that makes me feel.
I grew up in a Christian home with my pacifist parents who continued to "forgive" and overlook cruel people in our extended family to a fault. As a child, I was trained to be a door mat and ignore unacceptable behavior and was sexually abused for YEARS and later married an abusive man.
Thank GOD I know better and can show and tell my child there is NO EXCUSE TO TREAT PEOPLE BADLY OR TO ACCEPT BEING TREATED BADLY.
Christ did NOT stay with abusers, He went to them, spoke the truth and required repentance! He didn't stay and to be beaten down. He kept moving on, and tells us to go tell them, then to the church, and if they still continue to shake the dust and go on. To repent meant to ask for forgiveness, and to STOP. He tells us to stay away from people like this. (1 Tim 3:1-6). So many scriptures, they're countless.
Christianity is forgiveness, But if anyone hurts you or others emotionally or physically, you must stand up for what is right and forgive them from afar. It is not healthy to live like that whatsoever. You treat people the way you want to be treated, relationships are a 2 way street. And most importantly tell the CHILDREN, Every child, it is NOT ACCEPTABLE to be treated BADLY!!! NO EXCUSE!

This is a terrible misconception. Terrible.
Study the Gospel and it will open new light on this subject.

comeau, I think you missed the point of my reply. My first line was a general statement about what life can dish out to all human beings during their time on earth. In saying that people will "beat you down stomp your face to the floor," it meant that there are times when people will walk all over you, tell lies about you, never return "borrowed" money, and never turn their backs on you for trivial reasons or for no reason at all steal from you and even murder your children and yet scripture still calls us "to love our enemies and to do good to those who persecute us because of it being of no value to love only those who are good to us.

If you read the account of the Prodigals father, the father ran to the repentant son when he saw him returning with a repentant heart. So should we. He still loved the son even while the son was living a life of sin. So should we. The father never gave up on the son. Neither should we. The father did not use the circumstances as an excuse to back out and reject his relationship with the son. Neither should we. The father was going through a "hard time" with the son, but the father never backed out because the son left the fold to lead a sinful life. Neither should we back out when the times are tough. It is in our heavenly Father that we find our strength to endure THROUGH those hard times that we all have to endure from time to time is it not?

I truly feel for you and your horrible treatment as a child. It was not your fault - but you can recover from it just as others have recovered from other equally serious mistreatment. Forgiveness toward your abuser may not come for a very long time - but it should be your goal to strive for, otherwise you remain locked in your past with bitterness and anger towards something that you cannot change, nor did you ever deserve to have happen to you. What you say is true though, forgiveness without repentance does not equal a restored relationship.

You say that "Jesus didn't stay and to be beaten down" but did Jesus not get stoned, crowned with thorns that must have been excruciatingly painful, nailed to the cross and then stabbed in the chest with a sword?" No, Jesus did not walk away. I, in NO way, am saying that anyone should stay and endure sexual abuse. Just as Jesus was crucified for his beliefs, Jesus calls us to endure persecution for our FAITH, not for sexual abuse. You seriously misunderstood my thoughts and transferred your horrific situation onto what I had not intended to say.

Comeau, I totally understand what you are saying. Like you, it took me years to realize that I did not have to allow myself to be mistreated. Humility does not mean being a doormat. We can still stand up for what is right, expect proper treatment, and forgive in one breath.

I think you presented a very balanced view on this topic, and I thank you for your contribution.

If your son sexually abused his sister, what would you do comeau? Would you "give up on him and back out" of your relationship with him?

Norske1-I'm sorry to hear about your husbands diagnosis, but you have HIM and he has YOU! I have a DH that loves me very much and we have plans to take part in a motorcycle run all day tomorrow to keep my mind off the "wedding of the year". LOL I sent a gift, which I know they received on Thursday at the place where the wedding weekend is being held, but no reply-I wasn't expecting one! Thanks for the prayers too! I can always use prayers, especially tomorrow!! I am taking it one hour at a time, praying to God to just give me strength for another hour, and another, etc. I will get through this!! He will not let me down.