This will be our first year the gifts will be a fraction of what it was.They all have took it all and i am done.All we have done was never appreaciated in my opinion.I will buy my for 3 GC,and for my stepgc i have bought pj,slippers,scarf,gloves,hat.I feel like take it or leave it.I feel bitter please pray for me.I am not a bad person.

Yes you are a good person and mother. The enemy wants to have us feel bitter and defeated. Praying for you and each one here to feel Jesus love and grace at this special but difficult time of the year.

This is our 2nd Christmas without my ED's in my life. They do not respond to any cards nor did the oldest acknowledge the wedding gift I sent, so my DH and I are going on another cruise with the money we are saving from NOT getting the spoiled children gifts and/or cards. I do not have any addresses now anyway. they both moved from their last apartment, so I don't know where they are now. It's sad, but why should I bother if they don't have the respect or decency to even acknowledge anything I have sent in the last 2 years? All I can do is pray, but it seems that God has other plans for my life and it doesn't include them. My faith is falling away from me everyday that my kids and I are estranged. I'm not sure why, but I am losing my faith that God will restore our relationship. I feel hopeless lately.

We do not know God's plan or how He will work it is true. One thing we do know is that God is in control and He can do all things. Please do not lose hope.

Texassunshine, I hope when you say your faith is falling away, you only mean in regards to a reconciliation. Myself, I don't believe a reconciliation will happen for all of us, and hoping, for me, is not healthy. God has plans for them, and he has plans for me. The paths may or may not intersect at some point in time before my life is done.

What I do know is that God loves me. I know he does have a plan for me and my job is to continue on with that plan. I know that He is able to heal my broken heart. I know that he is able to look after my children and grandchildren. I know that if He is asking me to give up my children it must be for a very good reason.

My life has not worked out the way I thought it would in many ways. I live in a small condo where once I lived in a large home. I clean houses for a living where once I ran a thriving business. My children won't speak to me and two of my three sisters along with one of my brothers feel the same.

However, when things were going well I was a shallow, impatient, insecure, somewhat arrogant, woman lacking any faith whatsoever. Now I have a faith that doesn't waiver. Now I am joyful from the inside, now I deeply care about others, now I stand in front of people and tell them of God's love for them.

Going through difficulty is not pleasant, but the longer I live, I see the wisdom in the first chapter of James. It is during these tough times that our character is refined, our faith is built, and we become more useful as Christians.

Like all of you, I have tried to bargain with God for things if he would just give me my children back. I've cried, I've begged and pleaded with God and with them. Only recently I also spoke with one sister about it, hoping she would be the bridge to reconciliation. In the end, I am unable to change anything. So I now have two choices. I can either allow this to destroy me, or I can accept it and use the energy I would have given to my children and grandchildren to serving God. I've chosen the latter of these two. I'm finding that using what limited gifts and talents I have to give to others is leaving me feeling fulfilled, useful, purposeful, and hopeful for the future (whether or not that future includes my children).

I've never met you in person, Texassunshine, but I can tell from your writings that you are an intelligent, energetic woman with lots to give. The enemy would love to use your children to bring you down and prevent you from using those gifts in a positive way. Please don't let him. God is able.

Well said, Canadian, and a good reminder to us all. Being estranged from our EC is heartbreaking and is not the way we ever planned for it to be. We can pray that God will change others. Only He can. Until then, we pray for the grace to accept and move forward. Did you have your speaking engagement?

Unfortunately I ended up with pneumonia this past week and had to cancel (I was shaking with a high fever and chills the night I was to speak). It certainly upset me, but after the fog of the fever wore off, I realized it's just one talk and there will be others. Now at least I have a really good presentation all ready to go at the drop of a hat. In my heart I feel God is not finished with me yet, and look forward to what's ahead in 2015.

Amen, Canadian. I hope you are feeling better, now.