CHRISTIAN PARENTS of ESTRANGED ADULT CHILDREN Community Group

Estrangement makes it difficult to talk about with family, friends, neighbors and church members. Christians are NOT immune to broken families. Talk about your experiences with those who know how you feel and get positive support through your Christian faith...."In these last days difficult times will come, for men will be lovers of self...disobedient to parents,...

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blessedfromnc 10/18/2015

I have not participated in a discussion before but will give it a try. I feel this overwhelming sense of sorrow after I found out on Facebook that my ED, who lives in CA, is in Baltimore this weekend, 6 hours north.This has somehow set me off. I think I have a meltdown about every 4 months anyhow and maybe it is just time, but this 3 1/2 year separation from her is all that I can stand. I don't even know for sure why I am being shunned, but I do know she seemed very angry at God and was hinting strongly that she felt brainwashed as a child. Nothing could be farther from the truth. She was VERY loved and cared for, as well as supported in life. She has estranged everyone in the family but her only sister. I have prayed so much I don't hardly now how to anymore. God has truly been my rock though. He has encouraged me and brought many young girls in my life that love me like their spiritual Mom and come around all the time. But it is not the same. I want reconciliation with her. The crazy thing is that my ED sends me gifts on birthdays, Christmas and Mother's Day and in the cards she says she loves me. My heart is breaking. I don't want her gifts..... I want HER!!
As I write this tears are streaming down my face. I am weary and heartbroken. I never ever thought that this would happen to me. I poured EVERYTHING into my 2 girls and I feel lonely. Thanks for listening.

feellinghelpless 10/18/2015

I'm sorry for your pain. I'm glad you found this site. You'll find friends here.
Strange that you get gifts and love messages, but no contact. Does your other daughter have a clue? Sometimes sisters share more with each other than with their parents,
Glad you're hanging on to God. He's our rock. Don't give up beliveing in miracles. God is still working on her

blessedfromnc 10/18/2015

One time I asked my youngest daughter if she knew why her sister was doing this and she had a panic attack and said "I cant get in the middle of this". This was on Christmas day at my house and she almost walked out. I just softly asked her the questions and did not drill her. Therefore, I have not really asked her anything since then for fear of having her stop talking to us too. :(

blessedfromnc 10/18/2015

Thank you, feelinghelpless! you are very encouraging!

lindajoan 10/18/2015

Since your ED sends gifts and says she loves you there may be an open door. Could you let her know how you feel?

ruthsandraschilling 10/19/2015

I understand he tears ,..you love her . Try to build a bridge somehow... At least she sends the gifts ..it's a starat.

feellinghelpless 10/19/2015

You were smart not to drag the sister into it if she doesn't want to be.
I would still be encouraged that she sends messages of love. Strange no contact, but hang onto every positive message and when you get down look at it.

annienannie 10/23/2015

I know this feeling. I am just as perplexed by why my children left. They say that the love me, however they do not want me in their life. They have read so much crap on the internet and the world is so much about freedom. Freedom to anything. My EC believe because I had standards and was involved in their lives, I was not there for love. I was a Narcissistic Mother!.. I did a search on Narcissistic Mother's and found that for everything that I did good, they can say it was for my own Glory or to Make a show for my friends. I am a retired school psychologist. I worked with kids that truly had difficult childhoods. Just because I taught mine to go to church and Love God does not mean I manipulated them. I think there is truly more to this Estrangement business. My EC have all strayed away from God. The eldest, was very ill and on life support when she was 24. Since then she does not believe in God. My Son lost his wife after the birth of his 3rd child due to toxemia after childbirth. My son has not been the same since. Angry and NOT allowing God back into his life or children's. The youngest just became estranged about 6 weeks ago. She has gotten engaged to a guy that is Agnostic. Since her engagement, she has stated she agrees with her fiancé. She too has joined a group for Children of Narcissistic Mothers. I am learning not to emotionally own what has happened. I have to give some credit to what is going on in our world today. Who wants to take time out to give love back to their parents?

ruthsandraschilling 10/24/2015

Hi anniennannie, I feel for you ...it is no reward after doing your best for our children for then to turn away from us and admit they do not want us in their lives. I have had the same treatment from my youngest son. Can't believe some of the things he has said to me. Hurtful, nasty, rude comments that have.hurt me so much. I can't see it ever being put right. I do know that who they end up with has a big influence on them, it's very disappointing and the Silence is deafening of never seeing them or have any idea of what is going on in their lives anymore. It is unnatural and completely wrong. How can we be happy with how things have turned out. So much pain and suffering is hard to take, especially as we are getting older. I send my love to you Ruth

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