I understand the pain of not hearing from our children on birthdays and holidays. Praying for all of you!

My daughters birthday was last week. I text and mailed a handwritten loving card. No reply.
Another kick in the gut.

Well, I made it through. It was a tough weekend for me and DH. I hear son has now left for another country with the military. I can't see him anyway. I feel the hugs and prayers in my spirit. Thank you all and praying for all of us.

God bless you soverysad. God may have a plan in his being away that will bring good change. God bless you.

Actually I do not feel sad on my EC b-days. It was a joyous time in my life and that is the part I choose to remember. They made their own choices later on and I made mine as well. Now it is time to enjoy the life God has given to me for whatever time I have left before I see him "face to face"...... Praise the Lord !

If we want to reach out to our EC on their b-days, that is perfectly fine. We are their parents after all as God has destined. If they don't respond, that is for them to live with. It is NOT a reflection on us or our self-worth. Just keep praying for them and leave them in God's hands.

Today is my ES birthday. This is the third birthday without him. Birthdays are the hardest of all. I still send a gift, a card, and I text him. I never hear back, but at least he knows that I’m still thinking of him.

On birthdays, I always recall the day my kids were born. I still remember holding them, looking into their eyes and promising to take care of them forever. I never imagined it would end like this. I guess that’s the most difficult part for me, is realizing from that day to this, something went terribly wrong.

Today has been especially difficult, so I came here to see if anyone else has problems with birthdays. It’s so nice just to know that I’m not alone, because although I have a wonderful husband, family and friends, no one really understands how a mother’s heart breaks except another mother who has been there.

Annie, I am very sorry for your pain. We certainly do understand the sadness of being separated from the child we brought into this world. When you say something went terribly wrong it is true. It is sin. It is not from the Lord and not the way Jesus wants adult children to treat their parents as He said in His Word.

Please know that we understand and are here to support you in birthdays or any days.

Both my sons have walked away from me. My eldest son I did not see for four years. On his birthday I would be crying ...so hard to deal with on such a special day. He is in touch with me now. My youngest has said so many nasty things to me I can hardly take it in. It is so bad I can't see it ever being put right again. When they disrespect you in front of other people...it also gives them permission to treat you with no respect. I will never understand how it ended up this way or come to terms with it. .. A Mothers love is very strong .. Something I don't think they will ever understand how much heartbreak we suffer.

My oldest son i didnt have any contact for 3yrs, but we do have contact now, very seldom,and we walk on eggshells entire time sometimes he says things that hurt i try to not pay attention we go to his home to see my sister,and 2 of my gc we dont stay long or wego when he isnt there, and its always nice to see him but relieved to leave. My youngest has turned 360 with his personality,he lives 15 min away,his home burned down in oct and now lives 2 hr away,and may move back in home end of aug,but wont make much differance we didnt visit,never invited,we would pick gs up they would have him outside waiting for us and then we text when we are on way back and they wait outside for him, my dh went over there one day without calling due to us paying for a shed being built and dh wanted to check to see how contractor was doing our son opened up door and told dh he was being nosy, my son and i had HUGE arguement i toldhim aslong as i am paying for this dh will be there to see it. And son said it in front of dil,gs,stepgc very hurtful. I told dh i am very sad and i just do not think things will be getting better, and i think we will die withbroken heart.

That is such a sad thought, 'I think we will die with a broken heart'. Please don't do that, you surely must have some interests other than EC that only hurt and abuse you both. Remember....nothing they say or do can ever take away your joy and fun in life without your permission.

Would you be friends with people like that and keep wanting to see them hoping they will change and accept you?? Our priorities get really confused when it comes to our AC, I know that. But I had to "force" myself to admit that I just cannot allow this any longer. Believe me I have went through all this and realize they are not helping me they are hurting me.

It is a choice and then a plan.....I will not allow it to be a "need". (hugs go out to all of you)

I got message on phone from es today. I was glad to hear his voice, even though he was telling me off. He said I cannot talk to you anymore. He said I made him look bad. Really? I just tell people who ask I haven't heard from him. I'm so tired of his punishment. I wish I didn't care so much. But I can't help it.

Soverysad, In some strange way (thinking of it from my ED too) this is a positive sign. I believe he was thinking about you and your viewpoint. I believe he values you more than you may feel and more than he is showing. I am glad he reached out and that you spoke truth to him. God bless you.

Thank you lindajoan. At least I know he is alive and well.