CHRISTIAN PARENTS of ESTRANGED ADULT CHILDREN Community Group

Estrangement makes it difficult to talk about with family, friends, neighbors and church members. Christians are NOT immune to broken families. Talk about your experiences with those who know how you feel and get positive support through your Christian faith...."In these last days difficult times will come, for men will be lovers of self...disobedient to parents,...

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chocolatecat 11/06/2014

I was just starting to get to a better place with all of this. But last night we discovered something ES did this week and it gutted us. I feel paralyzed with the weight of it and have subconsciously and unintentionally placed myself at his funeral in my mind dozens of times in the past 12 hours. This is our third EC who now we fear for their life. He did it purposefully and intentionally, advertising it, knowing it would hurt us to the core. He is so incredibly selfish. Not only will it cause so much needless worry for us every day, he did it to hurt us. He didn't have to do it at all. We used to be so close. He always said he would never do this. What Christian kid wants to hurt their parents so much?! I just cannot fathom the hypocrisy of his life.
Maybe in all of this God will show me I'm stronger than I thought......I can tolerate anything. I really would never have signed up for all of this had I known. Note to self.
Thanks for listening.

deleted_user 11/06/2014

Chocolatecat, so sorry for the stress you are experiencing. Being a parent is not an easy job!

Keep praying for strength for yourself, and protection for your children. It's about all we can do.

sallyannlass 11/06/2014

I'm praying for you Chocolatecat. Hang in there. Blessings

chocolatecat 11/06/2014

Thanks you all. Barbell, yes, exactly, it is revenge on us. We honestly were such good parents too, like all of us here, or it wouldn't feel so gut-wrenching. We bent over backward and went above and beyond for this ES in particular. There aren't words to say how devastated we are. I'm really so beyond exhausted with what this ES has put us through all year. I wish I could have my life back again. I hate it being wasted on this nonsense.
Canadianmother - prayer, true, about all we can do. This action our ES took is the one thing we have always told our children we'd take them out of the will for doing. We truly never believed any of them would. So, I guess we can also see our lawyer about an update. So terrible.
Sallyannlass - Thank you very much for your prayers.

lindajoan 11/06/2014

Very sorry for this new painful sutuation you have gone through. Praying His perfect peace upon you. O how we need the Lord.

savedbyhim45 11/06/2014

Let it go and let God deal with it. I truly believe that we are in the middle of spiritual battles and it is imperative that we seek out God and let him fight the battle for us. There is no way that WE can battle it on our own. We need God to take over and release it to him. May God give you peace and comfort knowing he is in command.

alwaysmyson 11/07/2014

"But may the God of all grace, who called us to His eternal glory by Christ Jesus, after you have suffered a while, perfect, establish, strengthen, and settle you (I Peter 5:10). I am meditating on this verse...trying to see God's perspective - He's got the big picture, and I see just a little part. I keep getting tripped up in not looking toward an eternity when all relationships will be made right. I also feel weak and unsettled - so I am pleading with God to do just that which He has already promised. Please perfect, establish, strengthen, and settle me!

alwaysmyson 11/07/2014

*even as I re-read my post, I realize how self-centered. Pain can do that, can't it? May each of us as hurting parents look to that Perfect Parent Our Heavenly Father to work it all out to His glory. May we not lose hope...may we keep the faith.

savedbyhim45 11/08/2014

pain can do a lot of things, don't forget we are human and live in a fractured world. God loves each one of us and will sustain us and hold us up for all eternity, promised to us by Jesus. Jesus said we would have trials of every kind for his sake but we are to rejoice because we will be richly rewarded in heaven. The first will be last and the last first.

chocolatecat 11/08/2014

I can't seem to get past this one. It was our ES telling us by his actions to take him out of the Will. He's challenging us to do it. So hurtful and hateful. Causing is so much needless stress.

edr1961 11/08/2014

The stress all our children have put us through its awonder we can even think right,sometimes i cant,i feel like i am in afog and dont realize what happinessis anymore

chocolatecat 11/09/2014

edr - I feel like my head is spinning. My whole day was wasted. I can hardly function. I hate our EC stuff immobilizing me like this. Maybe tomorrow will be better.

lindajoan 11/09/2014

The drama is exhausting. I pray you will have a peaceful time in the Lord.

I wonder what made him mention the word "Will". He may realize this is what he deserves. We did change ours for now. We reserve it for those who honor their parents. It can always be reversed.

alwaysmyson 11/10/2014

Sometimes I ask myself when trying to decide how to respond to our son, "Which action will give me the most peace?" I have been so quick in the past to take offense, but am learning a little at a time to overlook a lot....God seems to know I need more practice, because I keep getting opportunities to choose whether or not to pick up the offense! I am trying to remember that it is a glory to overlook hurts..."A person's insight gives him patience and his virtue is to overlook an offense (Proverbs 19:11)

weepingwillows 11/10/2014

So sorry to hear that you are going through so much pain. May God give you a peace that surpasses all understanding, Amen.

chocolatecat 11/10/2014

Thank you all. Probably most of us know what it is like to have blow after blow come our way from our EC. We were just barely thinking things might be turning around with one ES and bam. I had somebody tell me that I am probably clinically PTSD and I think they're probably right. I just get so blindsided by everyone's actions and it feels like being shot. It makes me tell myself not to care so much. I'm not sure that is what everyone wants but that's what they're getting. My MIL spent the past 3 days badgering me via email and phone messages/calls again. I used to be the nicest person, I still am at heart but all these things have jaded me into making sure I don't trust anyone but DH and the Lord (and my parents).
Thanks again all for caring AND for being people that I can trust too! Such a blessing for me to be able to vent and share here.

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