Gordos. I'm going to be totally honest here, and hopefully nobody who knows me reads this.. then my cover would be blown.

Almost six years ago I suffered a severed depression. I tried to kill myself by burning myself in my car... ended up in a coma for a month, then the recovery (lots of burn related issues). I was put on medication a few months after, but chose not to take them. I have not taken medication of any sort for about 5 1/2 years now. Instead I went, and still go, to counselling. I have some family issues, which everyone decided were my fault...and low and behold I have discovered that it really is them, not me. I exercise, eat right, get enough rest. I chose a profession with no stress, but still reasonable pay.

I have never been diagnosed with clinical depression, although I obviously was very depressed at that time. It was due to my not understand psychology, and allowing others to affect how I felt about myself.

Everyone is not the same, and it is possible you require this medication. However. I do have a history of depression in my family, but I have been able to get through without medication, although I am dealing with a son with drug problems, who is estranged from me, emotional abuse from my siblings (this is what caused my depression years ago), and the regular stressors of life.

I write this to encourage others to try to get by without medication.

Now, if you are diagnosed with a mental illness, that is entirely different. God understands, just as he understand a person who has cancer, or diabetes, or whatever.

Keep praying, keep reading your Bible, and God will meet you where you are. He is never disappointed in us. He loves us and wants the best for us. This, I have discovered.

Dear Gordos, I do think God wants you to take your depression and anxiety meds, just like he wants me to take my Crestor for cholesterol. Mental sickness is sickness, just like any other sickness is, and there is no shame in taking medicine for it. No one would feel bad about taking meds for diabetes, cancer, or anything else, so that is how you should feel about this. It is a medicine you NEED for you sickness. Please don't beat yourself up over it. I am not on any medication, but I am almost 100% sure that I have anxiety disorder now, and who wouldn't after all the hell I've been through. And the anxiety leads to depression. I have been known to drink a few glasses of wine here and there, too, which I am sure isn't a good thing, either. And I also have days where I feel like God isn't listening. Those are the days I pray even HARDER. Why has my faith been tested like this, I don't know. But please know that we all care about you and are concerned. And I am sorry about that man who died. Hugs to you!

Grandmother and I must have posted at the same time. I agree, that if you CAN get by without them, then of course do. But all I am saying is if you do require them, then don't feel bad. Just like I don't want to take the Crestor because of all the side effects but with my family history it isn't an option.

It is a personal decision between you and the Lord what He would have you to do. God can get us through life without antidepressants and God can use them for our good. I have known people who have done both. I have known people who have taken them temporarily. There is no judgement here and there is no judgement from the Lord. The enemy is the only one who wants to cast judgement and negativism. He wants not only to bring us down but would like to see us destroyed.

Remember that we can cast all our care on Jesus because He cares for us. There is peace found only in the Prine of Peace. No church or minister or priest can give us peace. Only Jesus! As my pastor always says no matter what we are going through ...But God!

By the way, Gordos, God loves when we cry out to Him and ask Him where He is. That is the very time He can let us know He is already there!

I have been diagnosed with PTSD & clinical depression. I have had it my whole life, but only started taking medication for it when I was 35. I have tried to go without, & when I do, all I think about is dying.

Then by all means, take your meds and please don't feel bad about it! I am so, so sorry you are dealing with this. Having an ES is bad enough, and now this on top of it! Take your medicine and talk to us!

As long as your meds are controlled by a Dr and you are getting counseling (Christian) along with it I believe you should continue. God bless you.

Gordos4, first of all, you can never fail our Lord. He knows your heart and He loves you unconditionally, so it doesn't matter what you do, you could never fail Him.

I'm sorry you have to depend on the meds, but you should not feel like a failure for taking them. I know SO MANY people who take them....most of them Christians, so you are not alone. When my son went to Heaven 7 years ago, I was in such despair that I couldn't cope. Doctors don't know what to do with people that are grieving, so they just push meds. I finally gave into them after resisting for almost a year. For me, I wish I would have never done that. I didn't even know that I was becoming addicted to them. When I stopped taking them, I went bizerk. I felt like I was in a pit. For that reason alone, I never want to take them again because to me, they are evil. I'm sure you've heard that our modern day word for “pharmacy” is derived from the Greek word “pharmakeia”, which is translated as “sorcery” and “witchcraft” in a few verses in the Bible. ...gives you something to think about.

I am also aware that modern day science says depression is due to chemical imbalances in our brain, which then cause depression. However, there is also another perspective. Some doctors say that it is the other way around....that it is our thoughts that control our brain chemicals.

Have you ever heard of Dr Caroline Leaf? She is a Christian and has some teaching about how toxic thoughts effect our brains. Her website is: http://www.drleaf.com/

I wish I could tell you that I have mastered my thoughts, but I have not. I still get hammered by negative thoughts of failure which plunge me into depression. They aren't as frequent as they used to be, but it still happens.

I can SO relate to your “God are you still there?” comment! God has felt so distant to me for quite some time now and I'm not sure why. I have felt abandoned, but I know what His word says, so I just keeping hanging on by faith.

If the meds are helping and you really want to continue taking them, then our Lord understands that.

Thank you Tabithagrace, I appreciate your thoughts. Right now, I don't know how I would stay alive without them. I have weaned myself off one of my meds, Lamictal. The Seroquel seems to be working pretty well on its own. It makes me feel a little numb, but that is a good thing right now,I Now, I just take Seroquel & Xanax. The Seroquel has almost diminished my need for Xanax. As far as Im concerned, it is almost a Godsend. I still pray, but wonder sometimes how much good it does.

I understand that completely, gordos4....whatever it takes to survive and get through this journey we are on. As lindajoan said, it is a personal decision between you and the Lord. He will let you know if and when He wants you off of the meds. shalom

When God doesn't seem like He's answering we feel like He isn't, but that isn't true. God's working; we just don't know what He's doing.

Gordos:
Do not let other people's opinion affect whether or not you take your meds. Doctors were given skills to create medicines and other treatments by the Lord for good purposes. If you need them, then take them. I am not on any meds but sometimes feel like I should be. I have days when I doubt the Lord and what he is doing since my son moved out and my dog died. I feel so alone and my husband just doesn't understand. Our home just doesn't seem like the same place without either of them here. I used to feel like the Lord listened to and answered my prayers and now I don't feel like he hears me at all. I have low days when I am very pessimistic and I used to be very optimistic. On the low days I don't have any hope for the future at all. It is hard to adjust to these times of feeling rejected by our children. I just never imagined that my life would be the way it is now. It is very lonely. I hope that it helps you to be able to voice your feelings here, it does help me. When I feel like no one else understands, everyone here is very supportive. May God bless each of us on this journey that we did not ask for. Maybe some day we will understand.

Estrangement certainly is not a journey we would have chosen is such a true statement. Many people say that of their life's journeys. We may never understand the why of things but two things come to mind. First, we can know that Jesus will walk beside us and we are not alone. He will remain faithful. Secondly, we can help someone who will need our help who will walk the same road. "In this world there will be tribulation but I have overcome the world".

We keep praying. God is able.