My oldest son graduated high school last May He gave his grandma-my ex mother-in-law-the flower and did not even acknowledge my presents at the ceremony. I was totally heart broke. I helped my kids so much t/o their school years. I participated in activities and as involved with being a parent sponsor for both church and school. I worked extra hours so my children could go on school trips and belong to extra curricular activities. My youngest son now lives with his dad. I divorced him because he didn't work, abused prescription drugs, drank, and went to jail. I HAD ENOUGH. He was manipulative and controlling. He turned the boys against me telling them the divorce was my fault and I was selfish and uncaring. My youngest son is living in another town and attending a different school. He gave up all of his friends and activities to live with his dad. He will graduate next year and facts are facts, I know I won't be invited to graduation. I care but I know his father has told them the only reason they ever had anything growing up was because of him. This sounds bad but I now do not help my kids with any extras They told everything I done for them was worthless, so be it, I am letting their disabled(?) dad take care of them. I dread when my youngest graduates high school I feel like I look like a looser parent. If others will say what an awful parent I was for not even attending graduation. I have a little over a year to prepare and build strength to face such an awful day.

Pkae, So sorry to hear of your sadness and difficulties with your sons due to your X husband. Many face that reality. It is not your fault. Young people should not be forced to choose. Stay strong in The Lord one day at a time. One day your boys may come to see truth. It often happens that way. We keep praying and waiting on The Lord.

soverysadmom - we had a similar situation with our ES's groom's dinner. They wouldn't allow my husband to pay for it nor tell us where it was held. But they did tell everyone that "we" refused to come. I tried to reach as many people as possible to tell them the truth but some didn't believe us.

Now many years later the minister who married them, who refused to try to soften their hearts and stop them from the estrangement just sent me a facebook friend request. I almost fainted. What, after almost 7 years of turning his back on us to minister to our son and DIL, at least to try, he wants to be friends? I deleted it.

That is what our EC do. They lie about the estrangement being our doing. This is how they justify their poor behavior to others. Since our ED lives nearby (very difficult) it often comes back to me from her FB friends that she has told them we do not want contact with her.

Norske, I believe you did the right thing. That was no friend.

soverysadmorn- my son is also with a controlling wife. I don't think he makes any decision about anything without her permission. I see his pictures on FB so very happy with her family... Her mom is a drug addict on disability (fraudulently)but has money to purchase all kinds of gifts.
Please know I understand how you're feeling. I hope God wakes our sons up!!!

My ED is engaged to a controlling bf. I like those words about God waking our EC up.

That was brutal. I have no words of comfort other than I am just saddened and hurt for you by such a hateful thing to happen. Unfortunately, it also speaks volumes of the girl's parents for not insisting your son have you two there. However, Sovery, the bottom line is your son did not take responsibility to do the right thing.

Our EC can be easily swayed by selfish people.

soverysad....I am glad you deleted the pics of the empty chair too! And don't worry about what other people think, you know the truth and God knows the truth - no one else matters.

Many years ago I was deinvited to my daughter's college graduation so my X's sister could attend. I was devastated. However, since then I haven't been told of my grandson's birth, invited for Christmas ever, etc. etc.

Don't worry about what others think. Are you footing the bill for college? Maybe need to rethink this. Just a thought.

I to have the same thing, my son tells half truths, like I didnt like my parents rules and i left or other crap but he doesnt say he stole from us or the real truth. I live in a small town. I have had terrible embarassment wen he stole from the grocery store and i have to shop there. he doesnt tell his little girlfriend all that. I am the bad person. it is very frustrating. she got him to join the army and he left a month ago. i wanted him to go in and straighten out and he threatened to run away. she says go he goes. they have wedding rings on facebook that say united in love divided by duty. it makes me throw up. he cut off all contact with his family. I am going to go to his boot camp graduation. I met a army active person at work and they said i should go for me and even if he doesnt invite me. he said he will be proud he made it through that hell and wish later on i was there so i am seriously thinking of going in June. even when i feel so much anger and grieving him.

Monica, If you feel led to go then I say go. Pray and follow God's leading.

but what if i drive 2 days there 2 days back spend all that money and he doesnt talk to me and i cry all the way home????

Monica, I've had that to happen in the beginning stages of the estrangement, before our son cut us off completely. We would travel a long way to a function and our son would completely ignore us. Now I see what was happening.Prayers.

I have gone to things and been ignored by our ED even before the estrangement. It should not be this way.

soversadmon so was the long trip worth it? did you regret going? was it more stressful going and being ignored?