I am sorry your hubby refuses you to write the note,
I will pray for you and your family.
I also will pray for this woman and her husband.
I have often felt very very bad for parents of wayward children.

If you have a good open trusting relationship with your husband then try this, write the letter you want to send to your ex mil and give it to your husband to read. Tell him you want him to take his time and try to read it like he was your mil. After he has done this and really put his heart into it, explain to him that the emotions you put into this letter is the reason you needed to write it. You are writing it because you need to say it, not because she needs to read it. Also tell him that if the situation were different and he was your ex FIL that you would still be the same person you are today and you would have written that letter to him. Sounds to me like you intentions are for good and not for ill. God can use things like this to heal families. I have a great relationship with my husbands ex MIL. She doesn't see her daughter or talk to her daughter because her daughter has broken the contact. We maintain this relationship for the sake of my stepson but also because it is the right Godly thing to do and it has given me many opportunities to witness to her and share what God means by grace and forgiveness.

I completely agree offtrack. In my family I was abused as a child by my own father. God healed me of all the negative feelings that I had about my dad and my heart has always gone out to my mum because my dad has manipulated her for years by making her believe she can't do anything and I know that she is as much a victim as I was. This is hard for people to understand especially within my family and some have said why didn't she leave him when she found out, the reason was that he made her think it wasn't true. When we see this sort of thing the people that get forgotten are the relatives of these people. They have done nothing wrong and yet often get tarred with the same brush and this is sad in my books so I pray that you can write this letter and that your husband will understand God Bless you love Sharon

To You All,
I wanted to thank you all so much for your prayers. They worked. I told my husband today that I was going to write to my ex mother in law and tell her thank you for all the sacrifices she made for my daughter. He agreed without any argument or even wanting to read the letter. I was so suprised. But I guess I shouldn't have been. After all, the Lord can change the hearts of anyone he wants to. So let us praise the Lord for his mighty acts!!
YSIC
Jenn

I am so pleased to hear this Jenn I pray that it will be a blessing to your husband's mother because she sounds as if she deserves it. May God bless you in the coming days love Sharon