I always answer questions like this by saying God is sovereign and in control. He knows what will bring good. He knows who will not ever be part of the kingdom of God. God also hardened Pharaoh's heart, and ultimately Moses and Aaron were able to escape to Israel. And God killed the Egyptians.

We have to remember God was not dealing with "woke" people in the 21st century. I don't like it when people are killed, no matter how bad they are. But God says, "my thoughts are not your thoughts, my ways are not your ways."

"For My thoughts are not your thoughts,
Nor are your ways My ways,” says the Lord.
9 “For as the heavens are higher than the earth,
So are My ways higher than your ways,
And My thoughts than your thoughts." Isa. 55:8-9.

Interesting answer in the link! I'm afraid I have to go for the sovereignty of God. But a good question, I hope some others weigh in on this.

Thank you, Marlene, for your input. I think it comes down to the fact that God is not only loving but also holy. He is also fair and just (Psalm 25:8 - "God is fair and just; He corrects the misdirected, Sends them in the right direction.").
Those people who Joshua had to fight with must be very bad for God to want them to be totally destroyed.

I thought the answer at the link was interesting and well reasoned.. Though I admit this may be one of the things about God that we will never fully understand.

This subject did remind me of some other Bible passages though:

Ezekiel 33:11
New King James Version
Say to them: ‘As I live,’ says the Lord God, ‘I have no pleasure in the death of the wicked, but that the wicked turn from his way and live. Turn, turn from your evil ways! For why should you die, O house of Israel?’

God doesn't want people to die without repenting, but He won't force them.

Also, God often gives people many chances to repent. I remember reading the action where God explained to Abraham that his descendants would inherit the land, but not yet because the sin of the Amorites was not yet complete. (Genesis 15:16)

Our culture(s) tell us that people are really good at heart and just need another chance, but the Bible says that "the human hear is wicked above all else (Jer 17:9, Gen 6:5, Deut 9:4,5)

Lastly, it reminded me of the section where "wisdom" is speaking, saying that it had called to people repeatedly to follow it's paths, but they had refused to listen. Then it told them that there would come a time when they would search for it but it would refuse to be found by them. I don't think it's exactly the same with God because there's that verse in Jer 29:13 where He says He will be found by the people when they search for Him with all their hearts, but people who find answers apart from God are unlikely to search for Him in that manner.

Good article, and excellent question. I've wondered about stuff like that too sometimes. And I think in the end coming back to the goodness, power, justice, omniscience, mercy, and holiness of God will give us the understanding we need.

Peace and blessings.

Another confusing instruction is

Proverbs 26:4-5 NIV

4 Do not answer a fool according to his folly,
or you yourself will be just like him.
5
Answer a fool according to his folly,
or he will be wise in his own eyes.

I guess the meaning is sometimes you answer and sometimes you don't.

There was a time when everything in my life seemed to be hopeless and filled with pains, and I was angry at many people including God. I thought about God and the trees of life and and of knowledge of good and evil and how God knew the future. I put these together and asked "Why did God put the tree of knowledge of good and evil there, knowing the humans would get hurt by it?" Fortunately (for me), despite that negative feeling I was determined to stick with God. I remember feeling horrible. I was holding on to my faith like there was no other options. I remember the teaching "Thank God in all circumstances." I did everyday even though I didn't feel it did me any good and found that it actually worked.

There are times when the best tp dp is not to try to understand everything. It is like if we love someone we need to trust the person. If we love God we have to trust Him and HIs words. When I was young and attended church regularly I depended on preachers and Bible teachers and mature Christians for my understanding of God and the Bible. I was fortunate to have good preachers and bible teachers and many good Christians around me. The small Bible school I went to in Bangkok, Thailand, was a Baptist school. I didn't belong to Baptist church but at the time this Bible school was the best school in, I would say, Thailand. Students in that school were from different Protestant denominations. I was used to having conversations with church goers and being in churches so I don't have problem being in a group that is set up like a church.

The idea about God/humans relationship is God created humans so it is fair that He demands humans' loyalty to Him. Some Christians explain God has the right to kill humans because He created them. In that Joshua story it does not sound right when we read that God hardened the hearts of Joshu's enemies so they would fight against him and be destroyed. My initial puzzle was the "hardened hearts." There are, however, several articles online that explain why. One of them says it is for the good of many. Some say so He could show His power. It is something like they already hardened their hearts to begin with, and God added the hardness to them. I am not sure that makes sense but I am sure everyone who believes in and worships God (Christians' God) does not feel they believe a bad mean God. I think I will end here. Thanks for replying to my posts. God bless you.

Thank you for sharing. That is an interesting question. Why would God harden their hearts? God Is Sovereign With Greater Wisdom, then we could ever understand. Say an evil killer thought about killing you, but had thoughts on a day you were alone. God might harder that killers heart to act quickly, when you are well protected, thus you they are stopped, and you are spared. A hard heart doesn't think clearly, and just acts out of raw hatred. An easier enemy to defeat, especially if they rush in to a battle unprepared. With Pharaoh, it was important, that all the miracles take place, as proof of God's Love for His people. His Ways Are Greater then ours, and Always Perfect. Thank you. God Bless.

So glad you chose to hang on to your faith LavenderC. It's true that knowing and understanding God will be lifelong pursuits for us humans, He is so much higher than us. Sometimes all I can do is remind myself that God is good and somehow he will make sure things work out right.

Totally the verses about answering a fool seem contradictory. gotquestions.org has an article about it at https://www.gotquestions.org/Proverbs-26-4-5.html, but I haven't fully processed the article yet, so I'm not sure I can apply it yet.

God's blessings on you as well.

This site can't be viewed when there is a period at the end.
https://www.gotquestions.org/Proverbs-26-4-5.html

If someone says the earth is flat, and I try to explain to him why others believe it is round and he still insists he is right, then I think the best to do is to stop arguing with him.

I found another article on this subject that concludes

"We need wisdom to know when and how to apply these principles, and wisdom comes from God. We should ask Him for wisdom and search the Bible for additional advice and examples that will help us apply these principles. And we can rely on the Bible! See the articles in the “Is the Bible True?” section of this website."

https://lifehopeandtruth.com/relationships/communication/proverbs-26/

I think the problem is a lot of time when we disagree, we don't feel we have to ask God how to reply.

You're right about asking God how to reply, I know I could do that more.

I was thinking about "Who are the fools?" and found this article (It is long. I just skimmed through).

Fools

https://biblereasons.com/fools/

What I find interesting in the article are

"Proverbs 29:11

Fools vent their anger, but the wise quietly hold it back." [New King James Version - "A fool vents all his feelings,
But a wise man holds them back"]

"A fool thinks himself to be wise, but a wise man knows himself to be a fool.”. [I don't think this one is from the Bible. It is funny.]

To try to answer your question about:

Do not answer a fool according to his folly, Lest you also be like him. Answer a fool according to his folly, Lest he be wise in his own eyes.
Proverbs 26:4‭-‬5 NKJV

It is basically saying to never ridicule foolish behavior, because it makes you look foolish. Genuinely helping someone see their foolish behavior, helps them from justifying it. The end result leads to which action we must take. Nothing contradictory, in fact, as we read both sentences completely. Hopefully that helped. God Bless.

2 Thessalonians 2:11 "And for this cause God shall send them strong delusion, that they should believe a lie:"
This is talking about the end times and this is happening right now... just think about all the blatant, obvious lies propagated on the tv that make zero sense whatsoever, and people swallow it hook, line and sinker without a passing thought. Just because the tv says it.
God made us creatures of choice, not robots, so we will eventually get whatever we choose, full blast. The only way we could deserve strong delusion or hardening of heart, is if we commit the unpardonable sin, which the Bible says is "blasphemy of the Holy Spirit," which is the ultimate rejection of God and from which we cannot return.
Let us be sure to not think the problem is out there somewhere, because the only way people can believe what the tv says, is if they "having their conscience seared with a hot iron;" 1 Timothy 4:2, which means they have already rejected God and their fate is sealed.
My heart breaks when I see the masses -- most people -- believing the lies on tv, because this is a clear indication that "the god of this world hath blinded the minds of them which believe not," 2 Corinthians 4:4 -- Notice how it says, he "blinded their minds," not just their eyes, but their minds -- so they can no longer reason or think for themselves like God created them to in the beginning. When we don't choose God First, we lose more than a relationship with God, which is the greatest loss there is, but we also are maimed in this life with no ability to reason or think for ourselves anymore.
Hello America.
No wonder Jesus says in Matthew 7:14, "Because strait is the gate, and narrow is the way, which leadeth unto life, and few there be that find it."

I have a different opinion on the subject, assuming I understand correctly what it is about. I, however, believe each person is entitled to his/her own view and belief. This is a life and death matter. I personally go with "Better safe than sorry."