I have been having issues recently now that I am a mother to my beautiful 5 year old daughter. My parents and I are estranged. My mother is very sick emotionally and is in need of therapy. We do not have a relationship anymore because I cannot take her abuse and manipulations of me anymore. My father and I do not see eachother because he lives far away and is a deadbeat type dad. He re-married and had another family and ignored me for years. I always did everything I could to be a good girl so he would want me in his life, but I think I was just a constant reminder of his bitter divorce with my mother, so he moved on. Now that I am an adult and have a husband and a daughter, I am over trying to be what they need. I have to be what my daughter needs. I pray everyday that I can be the best mother to her-knowing what a screwed-up childhood I had. I have tried to re-connect with them since my daughter was born. I even bought a plane ticket for my father to come see her. My father decided not to come because I could not afford to fly his whole family out. That was the last time I spoke to him. I tried to re-connect with my mother but she went on a psychological rampage after I brought our daughter home from the hospital; so I decided I could not have that kind of upset in my life. She has made no attempts to contact me or my daughter. When my grandmother passed away last year, she did not even call to let me know. I found out after the funeral was over by a disgruntaled relative who gave me the fifth degree for not attending the funeral. I had to go online to the obituaries to find the date of her death. After that I severed all ties with my mother.

Now that my daughter is growing, she is naturally asking about her grandparents from my side of the family. I don't know what to tell her or what to do. Even in small doses, my parents, especially my mother are toxic. I don't want her to know or feel that from them.I don't know what to do. So far I have been telling her that we all just live far away, but she knows they don't call me or I them. Any help would be appreciated. Thanks.