Children of Estranged Parents Community Group
Children who are estranged from their parents due to disagreements, unresolved issues. A place for Adults to share their struggles, emotions, and pain.
I have been having issues recently now that I am a mother to my beautiful 5 year old daughter. My parents and I are estranged. My mother is very sick emotionally and is in need of therapy. We do not have a relationship anymore because I cannot take her abuse and manipulations of me anymore. My father and I do not see eachother because he lives far away and is a deadbeat type dad. He re-married and had another family and ignored me for years. I always did everything I could to be a good girl so he would want me in his life, but I think I was just a constant reminder of his bitter divorce with my mother, so he moved on. Now that I am an adult and have a husband and a daughter, I am over trying to be what they need. I have to be what my daughter needs. I pray everyday that I can be the best mother to her-knowing what a screwed-up childhood I had. I have tried to re-connect with them since my daughter was born. I even bought a plane ticket for my father to come see her. My father decided not to come because I could not afford to fly his whole family out. That was the last time I spoke to him. I tried to re-connect with my mother but she went on a psychological rampage after I brought our daughter home from the hospital; so I decided I could not have that kind of upset in my life. She has made no attempts to contact me or my daughter. When my grandmother passed away last year, she did not even call to let me know. I found out after the funeral was over by a disgruntaled relative who gave me the fifth degree for not attending the funeral. I had to go online to the obituaries to find the date of her death. After that I severed all ties with my mother.
Now that my daughter is growing, she is naturally asking about her grandparents from my side of the family. I don't know what to tell her or what to do. Even in small doses, my parents, especially my mother are toxic. I don't want her to know or feel that from them.I don't know what to do. So far I have been telling her that we all just live far away, but she knows they don't call me or I them. Any help would be appreciated. Thanks.
Now that my daughter is growing, she is naturally asking about her grandparents from my side of the family. I don't know what to tell her or what to do. Even in small doses, my parents, especially my mother are toxic. I don't want her to know or feel that from them.I don't know what to do. So far I have been telling her that we all just live far away, but she knows they don't call me or I them. Any help would be appreciated. Thanks.
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My 6mo twin DD's are EBF and just started rice cereal on the first. Everything has been going fine except this morning one of them had a diaper rash (lots of redness around her anus). I read this as one of the signs of an allergy. BUT I did just buy a different brand diaper yesterday (which they have used randomly before w/no issues). Do you think its the cereal or the diaper? Im ready to start...
I also have other family on dh side that are very loving and on my side that show her lots of love to be more than enough to make up for a missing grandma. Do you have a support system like that?
My dad left when I was 2 so I only had my moms side. But I never asked about ny other family because I had so much love from everyone. So your dd will be just fine. GOOD LUCK!!!
Your words seem to be taken from a page from my life. Very similar. I just wish I'd discovered this site (and your post), a year ago. It's hard to deal with pain when you feel like you're on your own (or the only one in the world in this situation).
Please let me know how you're doing. It would be interesting to compare stories and (hopefully), heal.
Best!
I don't have children of my own, but if I ever do I will have to tell them that my mom abused me horribly and that in order to have a normal happy life I had to get away from her and because she was so controlling, toxic, and dangerous, I can't remain in contact with anyone in my family that enables or supports her behavior..
What else can you do? We all know how awful the abuse we suffered at the hands of our parents was. Just like someone should have protected us when we were children it is necessary for those who were truly abused by their parents to protect themselves as well as their small defenseless children..
that's just my two cents..