Children Of Divorced Parents Support Group

This community is for the children of divorce, both for adult children who have lived through a divorce as well as parents concerned about the effects of divorce on their children. Share your story and get advice in this support group, where there are others going through similar challenges.

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/ Children Of Divorced Parents Support Group

Struggling

Rach9703
Rach9703

hey I'm a 19 year old female and my parents who have been married 26 years are getting divorced. It has been a bit of a long time coming but never thought it would actually have happened my dad is depressed and an alcoholic and I get that must be hard to live with but he's ill me and my sister both moved out a year ago my dad is heartbroken as he never expect it they haven't slept in the same bed for years I have just been getting used to it when tonight I found out my mum has already started seeing another guy and went down to England and stayed with him for a weekend and is thinking about going to his for Christmas I don't want to pick sides but she's making it difficult not to. My boyfriend who I live with is also offshore I feel I have no one to speak to I'm really really struggling 

writerfighter1441
writerfighter1441
Hi there. I know this is a totally late response but I hope I can help, even if it's just a little bit, and I hope you're doing well. I am a 17 year old female and my parents, who had been married for about 20 years, divorced when I was 12. The divorce blindsided me and my siblings, to say the least, mostly because my parents seemed like they were doing okay. When they divorced, it totally ruined me. I was angry and bitter and depressed and overall struggling, but I never shared it with anyone. Until, my mom decided it would be a good idea for me to go to a counselor. I went a couple of times, thinking it was stupid and unnecessary, and only now do I realize how helpful it would have been to go more than the two times I did and take it seriously. I would definitely recommend trying to find a counselor you can trust and investing in that, because they really do help. After all, it is their job. Also, reach out to people you trust, such as a friend, your boyfriend, or even a trusted teacher. They can be great outlets for your feelings and will give good advice. As for your father, I would also recommend you try to suggest to him that he gets the help he needs. And understand that he might reject the idea at first, and might even get a bit angry, but it can't hurt to plant that seed in his head and try to get him on the right path. As for your mother, she still loves you. I know it may seem like she's abandoned you, but trust me, she hasn't. maybe take the time to get to know her new partner. I absolutely hated the woman my dad was with when he left, but now I've gotten to know her and i actually like her, mostly because I see that she makes my dad happy.

Finally, it does get better. I know right now it seems like your world is falling apart, and it will feel that way for a while. But, there is hope in the future. You will settle into your new life and smooth out all of the kinks and bumps, and eventually you will see yourself finding happiness again. Talk to your family and friends. Find something to do that you enjoy and throw yourself head first into it. Try and find things good about your life and focus on that and you will make it through, I promise.

Anyway, sorry for the late reply but I wanted to get my two cents in. I hope you're doing well and will do well in the future :) best wishes.