Children Of Divorced Parents Support Group
This community is for the children of divorce, both for adult children who have lived through a divorce as well as parents concerned about the effects of divorce on their children. Share your story and get advice in this support group, where there are others going through similar challenges.
my parents have been contemplating divorce, counselling, and so many other things. It is hard as it is with a teen girl like me going through a parents divorce, and I'm always here for my mom makes it way worse. I know I should not let my mom tell me everything, but i feel bad because i know she needs someone to talk to about it, and i don't want her upset. As me being the outsider i know my parents aren't going to last to the end of this year if it stays the way it is. i feel like there is no hope left for my parents. My dad devotes his time to a volunteer service and is never home. my mom is tired of never getting any help from him around the house and in general. I know i shouldn't be in the middle of it and i shouldn't worry about it, but I'm not just going to sit here and let my mom be upset and leave her like that. there are days when i know she is frustrated and upset, but if i don't want to hear about it then i will tell her to stop talking and keep it in the open I'm not in the mood for it. I'm just so annoyed and want to see change in my family or get it split up. I am tired of dealing with constant tension in my house. i see there is a problem and im tired of it still being a problem. There is just nothing i can do but sit and watch it all play out. I'm tired of this movie. the popcorn is stale and the candy is soggy.
My strong suggestion is to seek a school counselor who can direct you in some way to find tools and strength to not be the listener to inappropriate worries and stories from a parent and redirect you to find tools to avoid listening or mom using your time and heart in such ways.
It is not a child/teens job to fix a marriage or hear sad stories that do not end, it creates much anxiety and is out of bounds with the relationship. You do not have to be her counselor, but just her daughter.
Finding tools, means when it starts you have courage to redirect her to appropriate sources for counsel and healing and that you can not be that person for her, as it affects you detrimentally to know you have no power to help and no life experience and that you need parenting right now.
It is hard, it is your mom and you can be respectful about how you approach this. Another suggestion is to gain help from a trusted family member to help guide your mother to outlets and to help her see you can not be her adviser and counselor. Sounds easy on paper, but it is not, but it is worth it to set those lines, so you and she can have a good mother daughter relationship. While you should strive to be a good teen (does not mean you have to be perfect, but try and work at growth, it is not your job to fix such huge things for your mom. Some small things yes, to listen, but not marriage and divorce things, unless it is to say a decision has been made, then you need to know..... All the best....