Children Of Divorced Parents Support Group

This community is for the children of divorce, both for adult children who have lived through a divorce as well as parents concerned about the effects of divorce on their children. Share your story and get advice in this support group, where there are others going through similar challenges.

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Abigailisconfused
Abigailisconfused

my parents have been divorced since i was 6, im 14 now.  i love them both (my dad a lotttt) and its always been a fine system.  Just, i always have to keep track of what to bring to each house or whats alreay at each house.  Its a lot.  And i wanna talk to my mom about letting my dad have custody.  How do i do this?? 

mrs.villicana
mrs.villicana
Hi sweetie,

I have a 12 year old they goes between her father and I. I understand that's it tough and I very open to what she needs and what she truly wants. I would love her no matter what she eventually decides. It's not fair to be selfish after all she didn't have a say why her father and I divorce. It's very hard because I know if she decides to go stay with her father I may not see her anymore and will miss her. He not as open as I am and tends to go off what he wants and is comfortable with. Just be open with your mom... I'm sure she wants what's best for you regardless. A parent should always love there child and be mature adults in custody arrangements. Best of luck to you sweet heart! Hugs and kisses.
yosh
yosh
I'm going through the same thing, my mom just keeps shutting me down and doesn't let me talk
yosh
yosh
except my parents have been divorced since i was four and my littler siser was two. like if i wanted to i could make a movie about the day THE big fight happened. I remember it like it was yesterday
DreaminBig
DreaminBig
Make a list of all of the reasons you want to go live with your dad. Be sure to focus on more practical reasons ( closer to school, less to keep track of, more stable SCHEDULE (if you say environment it might send the wrong impression)) and ask your mom to set aside some time to have a serious conversation with you. Be willing to compromise. If you've been splitting holidays between your parents, discuss which ones she might like to have permanently as a bargaining chip.

How was custody arranged in the first place? Did your parents agree or was it decided in the courts? If it was the courts then it gets a bit more complicated as the custody arrangement will have to be legally changed.

Have you talked to your dad about this? Is he able to move you in full time? Does his job have flexible enough hours to provide the care and attention you need? I realize you're old enough to fend for yourself in most cases, but in others you're not. I'm not asking if he wants you there, I'm asking if it's plausible.

Your parents love you and want you to be happy and successful. But they also both want to see you lol. Keep that in mind and try to keep your words kind, and hopefully everyone will walk away at least mostly happy.