Children Of Divorced Parents Support Group

This community is for the children of divorce, both for adult children who have lived through a divorce as well as parents concerned about the effects of divorce on their children. Share your story and get advice in this support group, where there are others going through similar challenges.

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chrissilee 07/04/2011

Hi everyone....SO i was one of those kids who at the age of 7 hid with my baby sis and lil brother in the cupboard as my mom and dad was fighting the whole time. There was hitting, swearing , cursing, blames, ..just anything you could think off. And now im there again. I have a gorgeous 2 year old who have witnessed(accident, i thought she was sleeping) me and my partner arguing and how he hit me. I promised her at birth, i wont let this happen to her....He is a great guy, its his bad habits that makes him do this. The other night my sister actually got involved. I hate this. I wish we could just live in a happy house full off love. I mean, i was soo afraid of relationships(hes my second bf) and now this...Im infront of a crossroad where i have to make decisions . The same desicions my mom and dad had to make 15 years ago. The decision to either search for happiness and go on my own OR Go on with him and try and help him......His mother is such a stunning person and she looks after My lil one EVERYDAY. They are best friends :) and now i may possibly go live other side of the mountain by my dad.( hes a changed man and such an awesum dad.)...I dont know. My dad knows about him hitting me so does my brother who has become a man now, and they , well hate him.We are not married which makes it easier i guess but stilll...Ooo my mind is just so confused.....

drbeaker 07/04/2011

You're not the one causing this, he is.

You're not the one who's hitting out, he is.

You were that child. You carry the (emotional) scars from that today.

You can save your daughter from that. be strong.

deleted_user 07/05/2011

Once this guy hit you, that's a deal breaker!! NO ONE ever NEVER has the right to hurt you & he will do it again if you hang around anyway.... Cuz you just gave him permission to if you stay! Please please make plans to seperate.... Having his child is what's complicating things- but you can get restraining orders if there's been domestic violence- move where he can't find you- whatever it takes! Your daughter can't be exposed to anymore of that horrible incident she witnessed... Leave for her sake, as well as yours!! Praying you find a way..... Luv, Christine

deleted_user 07/05/2011

Chrissi, have you looked at your post? It SCREAMS battered woman's syndrome.

I wholeheartedly agree with Christine. Get out of that relationship and do it now. Not tomorrow, not next week, not next month; NOW! It's your life and that of your child and if your life means so little that you have to rationalize leaving, think of the little girl in the cupboard and visualize your little child doing the same.

You'll probably think the infamous "it's easier said than done." I tell you, it's not. It's just as easy to leave as it is to say leave. You're worried about how you're going to make out if you leave and that's a valid concern. Do you think the Pilgrims weren't worried the same when they boarded the Mayflower and headed for America?

By the way, I have a 7 year old daughter, of whom I recently won custody. I earn a living by practicing law. And, I tell you this as the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth; my license to practice law would be a mere piece of paper if ANY man laid a finger on my daughter. I'd kill him, then surrender myself, and my license to the authorities immediately. No questions asked.

But that's me. Somehow, however, I think there are many other fathers who'd agree with me.

deleted_user 07/12/2011

If he hit u already, ditch him right away. You can not help him. Only he can help him to not be this way. He'll probably fight to keep ya, but that's because he found a punching bag most women these days refuse to tolerate. He isn't a man. He is still a little boy stuck in his past and there is nothing you can say or do to change that. For this physically and mentally abusive man to straighten up, can take 50 years or longer. I don't think u wanna hang around for the next 50 years gettin hit and tormented. You might have to get a restraining order to keep him away. If you get hit, eventually you'll get killed by him. That's the way it goes most of the time if you never get him out of your life.

Pay attention to your dad and brother. They are men and know what your boyfriend is ALL about or they would both like him. And they don't. Men know men like women know women, you know.

deleted_user 07/12/2011

I would leave. Nothing is worth abuse.

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