Children Of Divorced Parents Support Group
This community is for the children of divorce, both for adult children who have lived through a divorce as well as parents concerned about the effects of divorce on their children. Share your story and get advice in this support group, where there are others going through similar challenges.
So, my parents are currently going through a horrendous divorce. Being 20 and in my final year at uni i thought i would be able to just escape it and carry on like nothing has happened. Obviously that isnt working, hence why im here.
My dad had an affair for 2 years and had the adorcity to blame my mum for the entire situation. My younger brother has no idea what is going on and my dad is trying to integrate my brother into his new family with no thought of how its really affecting any of us. Yes, divorce is becoming more common but it doesnt mean that it doesnt kill the people that are going through it. My dads side of the family refuse to talk about it and are blaming my mum also. They no longer want anything to do with me or her anymore because we arent 'getting over it'.
I guess i just thought it would be comforting too talk to people who get it? x
i have 2 kids,
your dad, in his eyes, has done nothing wrong, in his eyes your mother deserved it because he needed more, he wants you and your brother to approve otherwise that messes up his fantasy
your dad made a big mess by cheating and he expects you to hide it from your brother
your dad is not a man
no ,man gives his child such a burden
you are a man, trust your gut,
My dad cheated, several times over the years. Still wont admit it. Over the course of this nearly 2 year divorce he's revealed himself as a narcissist. From the little you've described I would encourage you to research narcissistic behavior. Doing so has given me great insight to the reasons behind his actions, what to expect from him in the future, and the best way to deal with people like this.
His family refuses to talk about it, so they are only hearing his side of the story. Naturally they are then going to side with him, take comfort in the fact that he's most likely lying through his teeth to achieve this result.
Your parents should have sat down years ago and had a tough discussion about their relationship, instead he took the easy way out. You don't mention how old your brother is, but if hes older than like 8 you need to sit down with him as his brother and explain that just because they are getting a divorce doesn't mean he has to choose sides. He doesn't have to personally be angry with your father, but he needs to understand that the way dad handled the situation isn't right, and that he is trying to be manipulative, not supportive. That maybe things will change in the future but that right now dad is emotional and looking after his own best interest, not his children.