Good question.

As an actress, I also try to flex my creative juices and I work with kids every day pretty much. However, when I get home I do feel that it is very quiet sometimes.
1) I try and avoid family situations. As I've just turned the dreaded 30 it is just starting to happen. My SIL announced that she was pg over the summer but sadly m/c. Every time I now attend family situations I brace myself. That really helps, and I also have a panic word to say to DH. Facebook is also a minefield.

2) I am also at the age when hands on heart I can say that we are not ready for kiddies as we want to travel and get on the housing ladder first.

Any more then I'll add them.

xx

this may seem a bit strange, but today i goggled "regret having kids" and read all kinds of postings of people who would give anything to have their old life back...the site I read was really heartful and honest...it made me realize and be thankful, of all of the wonderful moments my Dh and I will get to share as a result of having so much freedom and money. i am starting to think of being childfree as a different life path, but not necessarily a lesser one. of course we are still grieving the loss of our hopes and dreams of our babies, but it made me feel better, if only for a moment.

This thread is a few months old but it seems like a good one to revive...
I have been trying really hard to push myself to do things I wouldn't be able to do if I had children. Sometimes this is unappealing--I would RATHER be obliged to stay home with a baby than go out hiking--but if I go ahead and go hiking I usually end up enjoying it, and I try to remind myself that this is an enjoyable thing I wouldn't get to do (or couldn't do so spontaneously or easily) with kids.

So I'm taking a class this summer, and planning a vacation, and making a list of books to read. Mundane things, but my friends who have kids really don't have the time or financial resources for these things. Some days I actually feel lucky!

Oh, and cooking--I make a point of putting in lots of garlic and other kid-unfriendly ingredients!

Finally! At last I have found a good fit for me. What a lonely position to not really belong in the Infertility category or the depression category. The cause of my grief is very specific and no on in my circle understands.... until now. I'm really excited to meet everyone.

I've been married for 24 years and we did everything before giving up a few years ago. When does this get easier? I can still spend hours in tears. Or when someone says something really insensitive, I completely crumble. I feel inadequate and without purpose. Only my husband knows my sadness because I hide it well. Even though he is suffering along with me, he is my only support, but I feel like I'm bringing him down with me.

Thanks for the topic, FidalgoGirl. This is exactly what I need to know. How do we cope? Thank you, too, Leah2333. I enjoyed your comment. I needed that smile.