Child Support & Custody Support Group
This community is dedicated to those involved in child support and custody cases. There are a myriad of challenges involved in any case and this is a safe place to talk about what you're going through with others who may be going through the same. Join the group and seek advice, find or provide a listening ear, or just share your feelings in this support group.
I was wondering if I could ask a question for a friend. I know, the friend isn't actually me. :)
I have a good friend who has been divorced from the father of her two boys for about 3 years. She is remarried.
I'm here asking the question because she is so beaten down that I'm afraid she is going to give up.
This ex husband constantly disparages her in front of her children, to her children behind her back, as well as out in public. He follows up these statements with things like "but I know she's just doing the best she can." He is extremely manipulative and mean. She has pages of text messages from him calling her names like b**** and the c-word, calling her selfish (I've witness that first hand, he no longer restrains himself in front of her friends), and yells at her in front of the boys all the time. I have also seen that. Because I'm a trained therapist, I'd bet that he's a narcissist and is bordering along the line of antisocial.
She has called the police on him but was told that there was nothing they could do. She's so tired and worn down that the thought of doing anything more than just "putting up with it" is almost too much for her to handle. Her boys are starting to mimic his behavior. She currently has joint custody, but has the boys most of the time, as their dad has an irregular work schedule.
It's affecting her current marriage as well. He tries to be supportive but really he ends up just getting mad at her for not being stronger. This is most likely due to frustration that he just can't beat the guy up.
Has anyone encountered this before? What did you do? Where did you go for support? I'm seeing my friend be abused. It'd be cool to hear from both men and woman about this, as I don't think that anything like this is every one sided. To be honest, I don't know how she hasn't snapped.
Even if you don't have any advice, thanks for reading. It's tough to watch for me and my heart is breaking for her.
I have a good friend who has been divorced from the father of her two boys for about 3 years. She is remarried.
I'm here asking the question because she is so beaten down that I'm afraid she is going to give up.
This ex husband constantly disparages her in front of her children, to her children behind her back, as well as out in public. He follows up these statements with things like "but I know she's just doing the best she can." He is extremely manipulative and mean. She has pages of text messages from him calling her names like b**** and the c-word, calling her selfish (I've witness that first hand, he no longer restrains himself in front of her friends), and yells at her in front of the boys all the time. I have also seen that. Because I'm a trained therapist, I'd bet that he's a narcissist and is bordering along the line of antisocial.
She has called the police on him but was told that there was nothing they could do. She's so tired and worn down that the thought of doing anything more than just "putting up with it" is almost too much for her to handle. Her boys are starting to mimic his behavior. She currently has joint custody, but has the boys most of the time, as their dad has an irregular work schedule.
It's affecting her current marriage as well. He tries to be supportive but really he ends up just getting mad at her for not being stronger. This is most likely due to frustration that he just can't beat the guy up.
Has anyone encountered this before? What did you do? Where did you go for support? I'm seeing my friend be abused. It'd be cool to hear from both men and woman about this, as I don't think that anything like this is every one sided. To be honest, I don't know how she hasn't snapped.
Even if you don't have any advice, thanks for reading. It's tough to watch for me and my heart is breaking for her.
Treating the relationship like business is the best way to go. sever the feelings that are there even the anger and hatred and its simply facts and details when you talk " I will be there at 5 to pick the kids up" if he starts yelling or belittling walk away its hard but it has to be done.
hope that helps