Child Support & Custody Support Group
This community is dedicated to those involved in child support and custody cases. There are a myriad of challenges involved in any case and this is a safe place to talk about what you're going through with others who may be going through the same. Join the group and seek advice, find or provide a listening ear, or just share your feelings in this support group.
I have been divorcied fo a while now at the time of my divorce my oldest son was 12 years old and he decided to live with his dad. (He was angry with me for leaving his dad) So to make a long story short he only ended up living their for about six months and then in Aug. 2007 he came back and lived with me. In are origanial agreement (we have 4 kids total) he was paying child support for 3 and I paid child support to my ex for one. So for three years I didn't change the agreement or take him back to court just living of the child support for 3 kids when I had all 4. So about a month ago I decided to take my ex back to court to have things update. Well,the first weekend he had the kids after he recieved the letter my oldest son (now almost 16)came home telling me he wanted to live with his dad again. My ex and his new wife had promised him alot of things and has now turned me into the bad guy again. He moved out 3 days ago and I am a mess. I miss him so much and I have such angry towards my ex. He's making comments like "well, I guess you don't need your lawyers anymore. Unfortanily taking him back to court was not only to update my son's information but also because he is 1,000's of dollars behind in child support for the other 3 kids. So my son is even madder at me because I'm still taking his dad to court. Sorry this is so long but I really need help. I'm so upset my son is gone and I don't know how I'm going to handle all this.
Second, I know it's hard to let go of a kid but let him. Somehow I doubt your ex and his new woman will be bale to keep all of their promises. It is your job to be the rock for your 16 year old to come home to when he is ready.
Finally, it is none of your son's business that you are taking his dad back to court. This is between the two adults, not the children. They need to keep out of this and also be kept out of this as much as possible.
Take it all one small step at a time. Do your best to stay in touch with the 16 year old, love him lots and let him come back to you in his own time. Focus on yourself and your other kids.
Hugs to you for your pain...
What explanation did your son give you for moving in with his father again? And why would he so swiftly be in his father's house within one month? I know you don't want to force him, but that transition is really quick! I think I would have forced some exploration on this issue.
And I have known of divorces where the ex wife seeks child support and then the father takes over custody, but did you just say, okay?
I agree that you should still be pressing this in court, your son should not be part of the discussion and all. And your ex should be called on his "telling" comment to you, which shows that he's doing this as an attack on the money.
Well, I'd keep things very light with your son, try to have some good times with him, but don't bring things up that will make him feel uncomfortable. Then, work on things with your lawyer.
Since your son has been with you for 3 1/2 years, someone must be able to articulate to the court why, all of a sudden, he wants out. Does he have a therapist that he goes to? Maybe that person can get to the bottom of this. RB
Your that website to get information about having them go after him.
AND, you son cannot be going back and forth. If you did not give him permission you can file Parental kidnapping charges against him.
You don't needs lawyers..... call him up tell him he you are opening a case with Child Support Services and if he does not stop brainwashing your 16 year old you are going to file, parental alienation charges and kidnapping charges against him.
Stop letting him bully you around. Your 16 year old is acting this way because he sees the way his father treats you.