Child Support & Custody Support Group

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Fooled me twice,shame on me.

Shadowdancer40
Shadowdancer40
Yes,looks like I have played the fool. Husband cheated had kids. I filed for divorce. Two years later he wants to come home. I believe he still loved me and our children. We work to payoff some debts. I help him catch up,running upmy own credit cards.
His "adultress" files for child support. Then a month later he leaves our children and I devastaed to go to her.
I gave him a second chance cuz he was my husband and the father of my kids and I love him. I feel that they plotted agaisnt me. So, that when I finally get the courage to take the coward of a poor excuse for a man to court for funds to take care of our kids. I will not get as much beczuse his mistress filed first.
Shame on me....for loving and honoring my husband like a good wife. Shame on me.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Why do you think you'll get less?

No doubt it will be less than what you might want because he has more children than just yours but not because she filed first.

Listen you did the right thing. Plenty of wives give their husbands turned idiot a second chance. You just happened to be in the group that turned out badly.

You gave your children their best chance at having a father and HE blew it. Put the blame where it belongs.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I completely agree with OC and will only reiterate "Put the blame where it belongs"
deleted_user
deleted_user
Just because she filed first means nothing. The formula is based on how many kids and his income, not who files first. But get the process started because I'm sure he is going to claim that he just can't afford to pay you anything because he has to take care of his new family now, so you probably won't see anything, or much of anything, until the court orders it.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Don't forget - if he cheated you may get more for property. In many states its all equal but if one person cheated they sometimes will slide the scale in favor of the other person. If he cheated one time and you forgave him, they will not, but if he cheated a second time, you could use that against him as grounds for divorce. Its not a no fault divorce in that case.
Shadowdancer40
Shadowdancer40
Well,many people told me that I should just file for support first because they base it on percentage. He is back with her and she is still getting child support,i think like 30 or 40 percent of his pay. So, when I go to file the percentage will be based on what is left AFTER her child support is deducted. Which means he has less money therefor less money for our kids. They said that his adultress and he plotted to do that and also he pretended to want to come back home so that he could con me into paying down his credit cards. Then he left me again for his adultress. So,they got over twice. Anyway,that is what was told to me. When they were to gether she had no child support order in place. S\
deleted_user
deleted_user
Go talk to your state. The state will start the calculation all over again and she will get a reduction in the amount awarded to her. With every child he has, each child will start getting less and less in order to spread out the support between all the kids. It isn't based on who files first, or who was born first. It is only based on the total number of kids.
Shadowdancer40
Shadowdancer40
I swear, I just want to cry,but its stuck,it won't come out. The reason that I say that my stbx and his adultress fooled me is that they caluclated my income with my husbands when they awarded her cs, $1,600.00 a MONTH!
When they started deducting it out of my husbands paycheck he left me and our kids like we were nothing and went back to her.
Now, when I go to ask for cs they will calculated by HIS INCOME ONLY!!!
I feel like such a fool. How can my husband tell me I am a good wife. He says that I do everything for him and I never complain, and i try so hard, but he doesnt want to be with ME. He wants her. She is the total OPPOSITE of me. She is loud and ghetto. She drinks and bashed up his new truck with a baseball bat! I have NEVER disrepecting my husband! Damn, I wish I could cry...but its stuck
wvartgirl
wvartgirl
Sounds like your stbx is getting what he deserves-- a drunken and abusive partner.

Do not be ashamed that you tried a second time. Don't be ashamed ever of doing the right thing. Rebuild your self-esteem and find a real man who deserves a good woman such as yourself. Hugs to you...