I'm sorry I wish I had something to say that would help ease your mind. I wish that when people call because they truely fear because of the safety of the kids that someone would take it seriously.
((HUGS))

Wow, I'm so sorry to hear this. To me, it's absolutely unimaginable that anyone could live like this, let alone expect it to be acceptable for their child. Has your son's father gone through a psychological evaluation? While I have always supported a parent's right to participate in their child's life, there needs to be some base line of conduct.

Let us know how things went. We'll be thinking about you!

thanks, guys! well, i survived the two hours. when i picked him up, he had a conniption because he didn't want to leave his dad. his dad cried. i'm thinking that the way i felt last night is the way dad feels ALL the time. eye-opener. i can be compassionate without letting him use me as a doormat, though, and while still protecting my son.

i'm thinking that this arrangement might actually work out for awhile. two hours per visit, three days per week. infinitely better than the three full days he WAS getting. here's hoping hoping hoping.

I'm glad that the visit turned out to be better then you expected. It has to be hard to let your child go even if it is to their other parents house. I hope that your visit get easier and you are able to find a little time to relax when he is with his dad.

It is hard. But I am glad that you're putting your child first. Keeping an eye on the situation, while still letting your son bond and form a relationship with his father is only going to help your son.

On the plus side, he is only there for a short time, and it sounds like dad (based on the fact that he was crying) didn't take his eyes off him for a second. So odds are he won't get into much that he shouldn't.

Best of luck!

I am glad you let your son see his dad..and that you are compassionate about their feelings for the need to be together. Perhaps you could say you know I am happy that you see you son, and I really want to work with you..Our son is young, when he is older its ok to have the knives around because maybe you will take him on a fishing trip or hunting like men/boys need to bond. let him know the gas cans make you a little nervous as well. Could you do you best to have those things put away when our young son come over? I wouldnt have called cps over the matter first...talk first..You will never set a trust between you if that is the route you exort to first.
I hope you didnt find this reply rude or nasty, or accusatory.. Just find a solution between the two of you first is what I hope for you to achieve. It is a constant battle to try and resolve things together when the two of you disagree on things but I bet you will get more acomplished had you do it that way first before involving courts , and organizations that only drive a wedge in what two people need to be doing is parenting a child together.

Also be aware that the dad feels this way all the time , when he gets more time with his son he will recognize the importance of feeling better and clean up his mess more on his own..He no longer feels helpless in the matter , he got to see his son..Takes time...but it will all come together..just trust it , pray , and communicate, give the space to realize what he needs to do to make things better..and above all communicate first!

2newadventrs: my therapist called children's services when i talked to her about my ex grabbing finny around the neck. i had no control over it. i do admit, i'm glad she did, though, because i'm hoping it was a wake-up call to him that it's not normal behaviour. thank you so much for your words today!

Therapy is great, and I understand they are mandated reporters..All I am saying is Thank You for allowing you X to spend time with his son...Maybe that he has achieved a goal of seeing his son if you discuss these things now you will get the results that counseling and courts have not achieved thus far..You have given him hope, it is an open door of building a trust not for the marriage sake but for a we have a child , lets figure a way that both of us can give him the best thing in life..two parents..The child will grow up knowing that my parents don't always agree but they put my issues first realizing I need both parents..

i'm sorry about the worries that must go through your head every day. it's great to hear there is at least one other person out there who really does think of the children. i'm sure your son is lucky to have you.