Child Support & Custody Support Group
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I have a 13 year old son, who has resided with me all of his life, staying with his dad on the weekends. We have never had custody papers drawn up because I never wanted things to get ugly, for the sake of my son. But recent actions have proven to me that he has no interest in being a parent. He wants to be the buddy who spoils him, and has no rules or bedtimes. He even recently came home and said how he was so tired because he was waiting up until 3am waiting for his dad to get home from a date. He has no respect for me at all, and teams up with our son to manipulate and lie to me. Not to mention he screams at me on the phone for no reason in front of our son, so obviously I'm having a huge attitude problem on the 5 days a week I have my son. The list of this type of crap goes on and on, but here are some things the court may actually care about.
He currently owes me $19k in child support. He even cashes lottery tickets through other people because he knows the state will send it to me. He also is currently driving my son around on a suspended license due to multiple dui's.
The final straw was today when he refused to tell me where my son was, after being 2 hours late getting in touch, telling me it was none of my business. I'm done.
My question is in the state of VA, how probable is it that he would actually win custody? I tried to Google but just keep seeing semi unrelated pdf s. Any information is appreciated.
He currently owes me $19k in child support. He even cashes lottery tickets through other people because he knows the state will send it to me. He also is currently driving my son around on a suspended license due to multiple dui's.
The final straw was today when he refused to tell me where my son was, after being 2 hours late getting in touch, telling me it was none of my business. I'm done.
My question is in the state of VA, how probable is it that he would actually win custody? I tried to Google but just keep seeing semi unrelated pdf s. Any information is appreciated.
It all depends on the state laws and I imagine VA is much different than Alaska (where I'm from.) I know in most states the child can decide where they prefer to live (each state is different) but they also will look at their reasoning as to WHY that is. If your son says he wants to be with his father because he "lets him do whatever he wants," that is not going to look very good or logical. However, I do know also that if one day your son refuses to go back home with you, there is no legal way to make him if he is of age by the state's standards. (That's how it is in Alaska anyways.)
There is a reason as to why you have primary custody and the father has weekends, and the courts will view that. The fact that he refused to tell the primary parent where your child was, is grounds for a BIG no no in court... Was it over text or email, or voice recording? Based on what I am hearing, your ex sounds like a sneaky one, I would communicate only by means that can be recorded.
It does not appear as though he has much to stand on aside from the fact that you son will be a typical teenager and want to be where he is allowed to get away with the most. But the courts do not look in favor of things like that.
Good luck, I feel you will be okay. I hope this helps a bit.
If he wants to be a buddy or whatever, his right as a parent, when you decided not to be with him you lost your input on his parenting.
He doesn't respect you.... maybe he has a good reason, maybe not has no bearing on a custody case as far as the best interest of the child. As long as he can work with you doesn't mean he has to like it or be nice about it.
You working overnight is not a good thing, custody judge should look at which biological parent can spend the most time with the child and get them where they need to be (school, games, church etc...) your other half is not biological or adoptive parent.
In a lot of states (not sure about yours) a 13 year old can decide where they want to live, out of your control and if your child decides not to live with you that is how it may go. And you may have to pay child support if that happens.
Bottom line if you want a sound argument stop calling out all the bad things the father does, and start calling out the things you do that are better..... a judge has heard all that BS so many times he is likely to cut you off in the middle of it, you need to show how your home is a more stable environment for the child and why your home is in the best interest (kid has own room, close to friends, would remain in same school and church etc...) and most importantly if he has been living with you and there are no problems why change the arrangement? If it goes to a judge you have to talk him into your way of thinking, not talk him into not liking the other parent.