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I'm sorry if this is a repeat question but I'm trying to figure out if my husband's child support payments are supposed to cover clothing.
The background is that my husband shares custody of his 14y.o. daughter. He has been in mediation for the past year or so over scheduling vacations or heaven forbid, a weekend fully on or fully off from childcare. Child support is supposed to go up when a child reaches 12 in our state. I thought the rationale being that it is just more expensive when you approached adulthood (more clothes, more food, more expensive toys etc.) My husband has always split the cost of clothes, camps, medical insurance, counseling, trips etc. with his ex.
There have been issues around the type of clothing she is buying for my SD and the fact that all her clothes are kept at her mom's house. This means that if we want to do an outdoor activity we have to get the raincoat from Mom's (even if we bought it 100% ourselves). Last weekend my SD told us she needed a special outfit for a school trip. She was told she had to wear something besides jeans and a button up shirt. We were thrilled to buy her something that didn't maker her look like a sleazy heroine addict. My husband bought everything on sale and deducted 1/2 the cost against the weekly extra's check he cuts to his ex.
Now she wants to include in the court settlement a declaration that only one parent is responsible for purchases and to set a monthly budget amount of say $300 for clothes in addition to the $100/week in cs. and the split cost of insurance, medical and extracurriculars. Her argument is that we buy her things she doesn't need and that she can't afford.
Help!..... it feels like we could really be setting up a horrible bind here if we agree to the clothing allowance, that she is the only one who can purchase clothes. We're already buying clothes for our daughter and not asking for compensation. We've only asked on two occasions (actually asked once and just took it another) and they weren't for anything extravagant ( a $60 gortex lined shell and $60 for a non-punk outfit).
The background is that my husband shares custody of his 14y.o. daughter. He has been in mediation for the past year or so over scheduling vacations or heaven forbid, a weekend fully on or fully off from childcare. Child support is supposed to go up when a child reaches 12 in our state. I thought the rationale being that it is just more expensive when you approached adulthood (more clothes, more food, more expensive toys etc.) My husband has always split the cost of clothes, camps, medical insurance, counseling, trips etc. with his ex.
There have been issues around the type of clothing she is buying for my SD and the fact that all her clothes are kept at her mom's house. This means that if we want to do an outdoor activity we have to get the raincoat from Mom's (even if we bought it 100% ourselves). Last weekend my SD told us she needed a special outfit for a school trip. She was told she had to wear something besides jeans and a button up shirt. We were thrilled to buy her something that didn't maker her look like a sleazy heroine addict. My husband bought everything on sale and deducted 1/2 the cost against the weekly extra's check he cuts to his ex.
Now she wants to include in the court settlement a declaration that only one parent is responsible for purchases and to set a monthly budget amount of say $300 for clothes in addition to the $100/week in cs. and the split cost of insurance, medical and extracurriculars. Her argument is that we buy her things she doesn't need and that she can't afford.
Help!..... it feels like we could really be setting up a horrible bind here if we agree to the clothing allowance, that she is the only one who can purchase clothes. We're already buying clothes for our daughter and not asking for compensation. We've only asked on two occasions (actually asked once and just took it another) and they weren't for anything extravagant ( a $60 gortex lined shell and $60 for a non-punk outfit).
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I have been here before, a long long time ago and now I am back.Forgive me for not just saying what I want to say,even under a triple dose of antidepressants it is still raw and seeping and I am hesitant at revealing it as at least under the bandages around my heart I don,t have to look at how raw and wounded.My child was cleaved from my heart by his own actions. my child of ten,turning eleven...
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theatre and I are there already. I'm having a very berry tea with crackers, cheese and cherry tomatoes and she's having a joint with some beer and we're both on really comfy recliners on thick pile carpet. we need some help with the decor if anyone is around??
I would suggested purchasing items for your SD that stay at your house like a rain jacket or boots things like that. She's old enough that the clothes should go back and forth with her.
While I don't agree that she should have to have seperate clothing at each house, sometimes that works better to keep the peace.
Right?
How about $1800 a year for clothing and Dad buys what she needs for the father/daughter experiences.
In future maybe you shouldn't surprise her by sending less money. Looks like that triggered a problem.