Child Support & Custody Support Group

This community is dedicated to those involved in child support and custody cases. There are a myriad of challenges involved in any case and this is a safe place to talk about what you're going through with others who may be going through the same. Join the group and seek advice, find or provide a listening ear, or just share your feelings in this support group.

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oscustody 09/24/2016

I'm new here. I'm French and have been in the US two years, married two years, with daughter. My husband has filed for full and permanent custody stating I am a flight risk and that I'm an unfit mother. I'm not an unfit mother. My husband is emotionally abusive and controlling and has not supported me financially during our marriage. I have had to support myself with money sent from family back home. I have no job. I have no car so I'm totally dependent on my husband for transport. I have no friends or family in the US and feel completely overwhelmed, depressed and hopeless. However, to have any hope of retaining custody of my daughter I need to stay strong and continue to be a good mother. It's so hard when I'm struggling so badly. I just want to go home to France with my daughter. Prospect of US courts allowing me to do that is very slim though. I am in tears as I type this.

If anyone here has experience with international or relocation custody before, please give me some advice. Any words of encouragement/support to let me know I'm not alone would be good too. God bless everyone on this forum.

kjjonez 09/24/2016

My husband is the same...and you are strong for being able to leave. I am still in it all and it's horrid. Stay strong even when you feel like you're drowning. You're more capable than you realise. Being a mum has it's own struggles, but when you are doing it alone it can overwhelm you. YOU ARE NOT ALONE. Just remember that.

oscustody 09/24/2016

Thank you for your kind words jjjonez. I agree, it is horrid and no way to live life. I feel hopeless I do not think I will be allowed to relocate my daughter back to my home country with me. So, my options are return by myself (for my own salvation) or remain in the US so I can have a relationship with my daughter but live in total poverty and send my myself and my famiky broke doing so. I pray often.

Muzik 10/08/2016

I am a father. I am also alone but for different reasons. Feeling the same emotions you describe. I am also torn between staying for my daughter or leaving the country. It seems like no matter what choice I make I will spend a lifetime hurting.

I am sorry to hear that your husband is behaving the way he is. Staying strong for our kids seems impossible, but you are right to focus on that. I don't know where you are located, but the economy is generally good in the U.S. these days, I am sure you can find a way to support yourself if you choose to stay.

Here in Seattle where I live there are high paying union apprenticeships that love to hire women of all skill levels. Usually when I tell people about them they blow it off and stay in their dead end circumstances when it is really easy to get into with a little effort and patience.

We also have a lot of free legal resources for low income and minorities. I think that most states have similar resources, so if you haven't gotten a lawyer yet, don't wait. Find these resources.

oscustody 10/09/2016

Thank you Muzak for your thoughts. Staying strong and positive for your kids is very difficult. Most days, it takes every ounce of energy or stamina I've got. At the same time, it's all that's keeping me going.

I'm on the other side of the country. Job prospects not good here.

Church helps me a lot.

Muzik 10/09/2016

oscustody,

I have a brother in Anderson, South Carolina that is in management at a factory. I hear the pay is decent. If you are close to Anderson and would like me to put in a good word let me know.

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