I dont think the struggle or the pain ever ends. somehow we learn to survive with it.
im sorry this happened to all of us.

Wow. Good for you for having the strength to try to heal from all this. This is a lot of damage. It's terrible what you've been through.

I am praying for you.

thank you for your story. that is so relateable and such an eye opener

I was never 10 is a great way to put it. I feel exactly the same way.

"A few hears ago a doctor told me my husband was abusive. I hadnt even noticed. I thought that was a normal way of life. At 51 I am going to start living"

At almost 30 I'll do the same ;)
Yeah, that's familiar, when I was a kid I thought it's like this with every mother who finds a new mate. That they come and go and grab that woman's kid whenever they want to etc. ... Then when I later read single mothers' posts about their new mate, that it was extremely important to them to find one who can take care of their kid(s) as well... I was shocked... :PP

But it's nice to know THAT is the normal and not what I got for about ten years!
And yes, I've never been 10 myself. My beloved father died before that and from that point hell began...


Wishing much LOVE to you All to come to your precious ways...~

Noah

we are very similar... i relined i become my father's bitch. i didnt have a childhood either. my father cared bout money alcohol and his wife and girl friends,

How unfair all of us have been treated. The thing is, none of us are really that different from the rest of the world...they just aren't talking about it. They've been taught to keep quiet...well, I'm not quiet about it anymore. I'm telling the entire world if it helps someone else. One of the first things I look for in a man is how he treats his daughters. If I feel he's doing absolutely anything inappropriate, I call their moms and also talk with the daughters to make certain. The men got angry and said I was comparing them to my ex, but hello, I'm savvy now...no longer that innocent, niave girl I used to be. By the time I was 11, I knew how to clean the entire house. It was never enough for my daddy. Today, I realize I have many fortes as I survived in spite of him. I showed him by just being me. I told him once years after I left home that I no longer feared him and that he was a coward and he needed to simply grow up and stop trying to impress his peers with his toughness because I saw right through it. He didn't say a word. He was in shock. He'd lost his power over me. After my divorce, he told me I'd be listening to him again. WHAT? I knew I'd starve to death before I'd let him do anything with or for me. By then, I was in my early 40's and my sister and I were both determined we'd never need him for anything. He had plenty of money, but we'd catch a ride with friends or neighbors to get to work instead of asking him for money to pay for a shop bill for our cars. He did finally get me a van I needed, but I wondered what the catch was. I was so suspicious of him and resented anything he did for me. I do have a lovely set of Christmas china that I bought with Christmas money he finally started giving us each year. The day after Christmas, I'd go to the mall and buy the pieces at 50 to 75% off. Thank you Daddy because it didn't get stolen out of my storage unit! Ugh. What jerks we had as dads and some moms. I had a great mom, but she was too passive to protect us kids. I'm so sorry for what all of you ahve been through. Just know we CAN rise above them. We're NOT going to let them have that power over us.