Cheaters Anonymous Community Group
This is a support group for cheating spouses looking for understanding and strength. Betrayed spouses are welcome to post ONLY if they can do so in a supportive manner (no bashing...these posts will be deleted), and please do not comment on 'Cheaters Only' posts.
I have a child with the OM and my H knows everything. the OM lives out of state and comes to visit his child for one week around every two months where I drop him off at his hotel where his parents and him are staying in the same room. His parents are with us the whole time during the drop off. My H gets so upset with me if I stay long at all to talk and visit with the OM and his family. He gets so mad during that week of visits with me for everything I do is wrong during this week. I know i should be thankful that he has forgave me for what I do to him and our own family. And that he has helped raise my son. But why should I know be able to conversate with the OM family and share stories of what their grandchild has done in the few months that they do not see him. Why do we have to fight so much during this week? He says that I have never treated him or the son we have together with respect that I have been selfish. And I know that what I did was so wrong and I was being selfish. But why should I feel bad about just being nice to my childs family. It is not like I am having sex with the OM while his parents and our child are in the same room. I know i broke all trust with my h but I basically gave up all my freedom to show him that I am doing nothing wrong now. I used to have a job that I had to travel for I quit that job for my H and started working in his same office. We car pool together except for the week that I have to drop off my son. I have no friends anymore I don't talk to anyone about him. I save all my emails that me and the OM have about our son. I don't go out with at all unless it is with my H. I know that my H even looks at my phone and it does not bother me. I know he has the right to be mad at me but I should not want to just kill myself over this week. Or just hand my son over to the OM so my H will be happy. I feel like a bad mother to both of my children for having those thoughts but it gets so unbareable at times I feel like those two options are the only way. Please help me through this daily strength.
calirn13
I might just tell your H, we need to be grown ups and deal with the situation. If OM's parents are there also, have your H go with you and hand off the Child to his parents. Have NC with the OM. If you chose to stay with your H, he is the one you should be trying to make comfortable in this situation. (As much as possible) Your H also chose to stay with you. He knows the situation, he needs to deal with this also.
livewithintention
In33dh... The decision is in your heart. Only YOU can decide whether to stay with your H. Stay because you really want to... Not due to obligation. Not for the kids. Not because society says it's the "right" thing to do. You do not owe anyone anything. You only owe to yourself to be true. Yes, A may not have been the best choice. But it's already happened with a result of a child. You can't keep beating yourself up for that. What good would that do? You're doing the best you can right now. Give yourself credit for that. You don't "owe" anyone anything, Your number one priority is YOURSELF. Because if you don't make yourself a priority, no one else will and everything around you will crumble. If you don't take care of yourself first, you can't take care of the kids and then care for your husband if you honestly and truly decide to stay committed to him. If not, move on. And that's OK too. You have options. It's your choice.
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