I'm sorry. I am in the middle of this storm myself. As everyone keeps saying, take it one day at a time. I dont know if that works, but I guess its all we have, right?

sorry kong. I am proud of you for being honest though. That is one thing I can't say I have done. wish I had the strength.

I was on the other side- it is so hard to take one day at a time when your head is spinning like a spring time tornado.
My husband (cheater) left on two occasions with my encouragement. The chaos of three kids, mood swings for us both, and jobs made it very difficult for him to get his head around things. I supported him going home to his parents for a long weekend.
There is no magic formula- the distractors/pullers are there- children, your face value, finances etc. The biggest question is the why? Finding unbiased help is difficult. Speaking with friends can get you part way, but will not answer the questions.
Take time to understand you. She can't understand as you won't be able to understand what she is going through. There are a lot of good books if you are a reader. I never was....

well it has been a week since she left. She texted me the other night and said that she was looking for a job in Philadelphia and that I needed to either find a roommate or move out. She does not want a divorce immediately but it seems like a lot of the steps she's taking are pretty long-term.

I actually had jury duty this week so my mind has been busy fortunately. I saw my AP over the weekend but have had very little contact with her this week. she wants me to commit to her but I have told her that I need to take some time for myself, and that if we are going to date while I'm separated, it will be on the casual end.