Cheaters Anonymous Community Group
This is a support group for cheating spouses looking for understanding and strength. Betrayed spouses are welcome to post ONLY if they can do so in a supportive manner (no bashing...these posts will be deleted), and please do not comment on 'Cheaters Only' posts.
On this day a year ago I was dying to put days between there and here but things are not very different. My affair, 1st and last time, lasted 9 months:
-My husband and I are still separated
-My husband never wants to touch me again because another person touched me
-He will not divorce me
-We still share the dog, we didn't have kids
-My affair partner and I still have had absolutely no contact since April 8
-I spend most of my time alone
-I still go to counseling 1x/week
-I talk to my parents every single day for the first time in my life since I left home
-I'm sure there's more...
Things that are different:
-My husband and I had to sell our house
-I finally got a job, that was a lot of stress
-I have roommates now and it is uncomfortable
-Im on anti depressants
-I have to take sleeping medicine to get through the night
-Somehow I started smoking cigarettes and then quit and then half started again (eye roll)
-I'm sure there's more...
The good:
-I know who my friends are for real for real
-I have a new appreciation for emotional pain
-I've learned a lot about myself, my husband and our marriage
-I'm not stressing balls everyday about collecting unemployment or not getting hired
-I'm not a doormat anymore
-I'm not going to be used and dumped anymore
-I learned I'm pretty special
The bad:
-No resolution
-Realizations
-The power of pain
-I'm thankful for my job(s) but I don't love them
-I never imagined the pain I have felt over the past 365 days was even possible
-Covid has prevented socializing or getting out of a depressing place
Anyone else?
I learned the breadth and depth of emotional pain as well and I'm still struggling with the subseqent numbness I've fallen into as a coping mechanism to be able to live and make each day work and count. This is hard, but I think the worst is when we make it harder on each other or ourselves in big and small ways, by not being open, listening more, or being more understanding. Small words there, but carry big meaning. I think more men seem to have a lot harder time with emotional security here, when they are the betrayed spouse, and I hate making that observation. I wish that part wasn't so challenging for you, and I think it great how you wrote this out and broke it all down so simply. Thanks. :)