Good Luck! Focus on your goals .If all else fails, over eat at dinner on food that"disagrees" with you so feel compelled to stay in your room, alone.

Yes, a little flatulence here and there might help keep you grounded . . .LOL

But seriously, call your wife and kids today for no particular reason and just say hi.

Best

I feel ya...my every work day is a supreme test!

Thank you everyone.

So (of course), the conference organizers placed our assigned seats exactly next to each other this morning. You can't make this up.
In some ways it was better that way, since it's harder to sneak peeks at someone next to you than across from you, but nevertheless... She was dressed to the hilt, playing with her hair, and generally distracting me to no end. But I maintained a general equanimity and I think I'm holding the temptation at bay.
Avoided her at lunch.

Oddly, I'm worried about being "impolite" to her, a very convenient excuse that my inner demons have used to justify proximity from which I can't escape. But I'm aware of it now.

But, oh, how I thirst for her!

I just need to survive this afternoon and (more ominously) this evening, where there will be sponsored 'hospitality' (free booze) poolside.

Must remind myself: I want a wholesome, loving, authentic, dedicated marriage and family-life. Yes, I'm haunted by the desire to be the playboy I once was, but I DO NOT want to give that up for a life of empty, soulless skirt-chasing.

Of course, my inner addict(?) tempts me with the idea of, "well... why not have both"? Be the loving father and husband that you are, and just "dabble" on the side. Nobody gets hurt.... But this is wrong, and if I continue down this path I will hurt everyone around me and destroy myself.
God, why this unconscionable test?

Because no one said life was easy.
Not cheating for me has become a decision, it's not a switch that one can turn on and off. You choose to keep it off.
There's lots of temptations in this world my friend. You chose what's important.
Will nobody find out? Probably not. But your wife is trusting you to hold up your end of the bargain. And you told her you would. Where is the accountability for that. I trust my husband he's not screwing anyone when he goes away.
You can't have monogamy and be a playboy. You really have to choose.
Please know it's a choice that I struggle with..... Sometimes every single day.
I love Sedges advice to call or sext your wife.... Sext her with the stuff you'd like do with this woman.
And who is this woman anyway? How do you know she just didn't fuck someone last week and picked up herpes or hepatitis and its dormant right now....just waiting to proliferate in some unsuspecting horny host ;)
Or she could be a total crack pot..... I read the other day that women that play with their hair, it can be a sign of mental illness.... Lol..... Really google it..... It was on msn.

Shoretime has some very good points. Not cheating should be a decision, not something that comes and goes. And you do not know this woman, she might be a nut case or a sociopath, or worse. These people are very adept at being charming and drawing people into their web. This woman evidently thinks it is OK to fool around with a married man. That should speak volumes about her character--a bad outcome is likely if you let things proceed. Not to mention the risk of STD's.....and what if she tells your W if things end???? Do you really want to give someone you hardly know that kind of power over your life?

There are just too many negatives about this, the biggest being the damage it will do to your marriage--you KNOW you really can't have both...just read the posts on here...there is plenty of regret and heartache. Is that what you ultimately want to sign up for???? Think about it.

Yes, thank you very much for reaching back and helping me stay in bounds. It's incredibly difficult, sort of like a thunderstorm going on inside me.

There's an element of this that is like a physical injury: like pain that ebbs and flows, this manic desire cyclically washes back and forth. Frightening.

Again, thank you for the real-time help on this. I'm supposed to go back into the afternoon session shortly and I'm scared of myself.

Just tell yourself that no matter how desirable this woman is to you, that she is definitely not someone you can put any trust in--she could very well ruin your life if you do.

I can sympathize man.. Been there myself

I can also simplify it for you too... You are either consciously or subconsciously in "hunter" mode. Or there simply would not be this sexual tension between you two.

Yes, "hunter" mode is exactly the term.

I can do this. I really appreciate all your support. This all seems a little ridiculous, I had no idea I had so little self-control. Guess I've just never tried before...

I think it's great that you are using this forum and us.. Kinda of as support and accountability. Proud of you man.. Consider watching crappy preseason football game tonight.. Just an idea.

And nothing wrong with having a shake with Rosy Palm!

Or consider watching YouTube videos about boundaries. Or sociopaths. Or Mate Poachers. Or Narcissists.
Or Flame Addiction. LOTS out there.

It's very weird, I admit, to be reaching out to people I've never met and whose real names I don't even know, but who may very well be saving my life (or at least the life I desire).

I've swallowed my pride and have admitted my problem to one of the fellow conferees (a man!), and have asked him to kick me in the nads if I start going overboard.

Between all your encouragement and the threat of imminent physical agony, I expect I'll make it through happy hour.

Rosy has been an ally for sure (though I wonder if that's part of the problem; topic for another post another day!)

You can handle this Timothy. You must....because I have a longgggg business trip coming up that is my test. There is a very attractive woman on the team I will be working with. She knows I am coming and we had instant chemistry last time I was there. I fought it off once. Not sure I can do it again. Pease tell me you can do this.

Well folks, I did it. Had my doubts, for sure, but I'm back in my room and in bed BY MYSELF... Damn, what a struggle... But thanks to you all for helping me through it.

abetterman -- it can be done, apparently. I think this is the first time in my life I've ever said no to a woman's advances.
You know what's the worst part? I don't feel any immediate sense of victory, just a kind of empty anger/sadness that I can't greedily have it all. Humbling, but necessary.