Cheaters Anonymous Community Group
This is a support group for cheating spouses looking for understanding and strength. Betrayed spouses are welcome to post ONLY if they can do so in a supportive manner (no bashing...these posts will be deleted), and please do not comment on 'Cheaters Only' posts.
I was served divorce papers this morning as I was leaving for work. It was a humiliating, devastating experience that I prayed would never happen. He's trying to take everything from me. He knows I can't afford a lawyer, I have no friends, hardly any family left, I make low wages, and I have no where else to live. I begged for months for him to come home, to try with me, to go to marriage counseling. I never gave up fighting, but not once did he even try to consider any of what I was willing to do to save our marriage. The pain and fear I have are indescribable. He's making sure I hurt worse than he does. I'm going to give it to God and pray I have the strength to get through this. I've already lost so much in my life. I know I'm a cheater and I'll don the scarlet letter the rest of my life, I broke his heart and my own and I know there are people who will delight in my suffering, but justice and cruelty are not the same and I never intentionally tried to hurt my husband, but what he's doing to me...God is the only one who can change his heart. Any encouragement would be appreciated right now as I'm at the end of my rope and the days just keep getting harder. Thank you kind friends who have listened to me this whole time.
At the end of the day, no matter what happens, you will be ok. You will find strength you never knew you had and you will rise above this enormous obstacle a stronger, more resilient self.
Your marriage might not survive, but you will. Hang in there. *hugs*
She was still in shock and being driven by her manipulative family. I thought we had a future and wanted to open up talks for reconciliation, however, by the time I was served I let her know that I was the one that did her wrong, she had every right to divorce me however I would not roll over in the coming legal battle. It helped me to accept, not shift blame, but also stop beating myself up. I had a life to live and I was going to at least fight for some decency in it.
Try to take the perspective and understand that he was really hurt by the adultery and just wants to move on with his life and find peace/happiness again..
Loving him is wanting the best for him and that may mean letting him go.
Continue to grow on your own and use this experiences as fuel to continuing working on yourself, which may benefit your next relationship/marriage.
You don't deserve a lifetime of pain and shame, and you will rise out of this and go on to good and meaningful things. Own your part in this and use it as a stepping stone for personal growth. Be gentle with yourself at the same time.