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Question? why do i feel this way?..

RockNMetalChic
RockNMetalChic
i am having a hard time tryin to figure out why i feel this way- so i was hoping by writing this post i'd get some help from u guys and some clarity on this... right now i am feeling really sorry and bad for My ex's Wife- (Karen), i am not sayin she is an enabler- so don't get me wrong ok, but everytime he cheats- she tells him- my door is always open and u can come back anytime? is that normal to say that? i know from her personally and her family telling me- she has loads of abandonment issues that she is not and never will work through cause she doesn't want to- she constantly is sayin- what did i do wrong in this life to deserve this? and ok so i know its weird that i feel bad for her- and that i was the cause of some of her emotional pain in the past, but is it wrong for me to want her to see that she does deserve better- that she is worthy of being loved and that she can do soooooooooooooooooo much better than that loser she keeps taking back-


shouldn't i be jealous and hate her and say hey u have the man i want- and call her all kinds of names? isn't that the normal thing to do?.......... heck i don't even know anymore- just really want her to see that she's beautiful- she has no self esteem and thinks its ok to just deal with this- to just let him run over her again and again- and have the door open? why is she so weak ? why can't she pick herself up and do this? she used to call me on the phone and say i don't want him back but he won't go away so i'm taking him back- i think she's afraid to be alone and ok by now u are all like- ok whatever u idiot right- but just tryin to understand- why do i care what happens to her so much?..........
deleted_user
deleted_user
Rock...Because your are caring woman and think of others. She is the one that needs to change and be strong for herself. and yes she is an enabler. By her telling him the door is open allows him to come and go as he pleases. Close your door and don't get caught up in his games.
RockNMetalChic
RockNMetalChic
thanks for the advice Tearful- my door is and has been closed for 2 almost 3 months now- tryin to stay strong- its so hard sometimes.......
deleted_user
deleted_user
Oh Rock - I don't know who you are or even what you look like...but I SO wish I could be where you are to give you a big hug!!!!! You are such a kind and compassionate person. I now know that there are people out there who have made mistakes and are truely regretful. For you to have these feelings for this woman...it's very overwhelming. I would love to know the other woman in my situation had the same feelings for me! But, I am pretty sure that isn't the case. But, I take great comfort in your posts and others as well. You are a great lady!
alex
RockNMetalChic
RockNMetalChic
Hi Alex and Thanks- well my name is Brandi (who i am) , I'm an Cute, Tall, Fat Woman (what i look like), and i live in Tennessee ( where i'm at)......
deleted_user
deleted_user
You have compassion for her. I'm attempting to get there with the OW in my case. She has hurt me very deeply, but part of me feels sorry for her. All the drama she causes is because of her own insecurities. Also, I know the man she "won" and I feel sorry for her for that as well. I think that you are starting to see the OM for what he really is, and that's where the compassion comes from. Not to say that you don't have fond memories of him, or the time you shared together, but being away from the situation for a little while has allowed your eyes to open and see the situation from a totally different perspective.

Maybe I'm not making sense here. It sounded good in my head! :) Anyway, I just wanted to say that the fact you feel compassion, not hate for this woman is commendable.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Well Brandi, I wish I was in Tennessee to give you a big hug! I am also tall too, and I always appreciate meeting someone like me. Do you have problems finding pants long enough too? ;)
RockNMetalChic
RockNMetalChic
yep i do- if i don't get the tall or Long- omg they look like friggin capri's on me, i'd hug u right back if u were here ! :)
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