sup!

Welcome to my life red!! LOL

Good morning, ladies! Thanks for the giggle and the check-in, notmyself.

I am committed, just for today.

S.

Yep, so am I! Day 1.

Another txt: HELLLLOOOOOOOOO" Then he called. I didnt pick up or reply to the txt.


I am NOT wavering. I just want to ask a question here. Since i was an idiot n replied to his txt Saturday, it seems open ended. Do i reply to tell him to buzz off in a matter of speaking. Say something like, this is not working, i do not want any contact w you because what we have is unhealthy.

Just asking! Not trying to break NC here tho.

Thanks :)

No, he already knows what you think.You said it, now show him.

I say leave it for today. And tomorrow never comes, cuz when it gets here, it's today.

He's going to push, question, kick up a fuss even. Someone in another group posted that psychologists call it an 'extinction burst'--a last burst of effort to maintain the status quo. He's accustomed to having you where he wants you. Let him deal with it and just take care of yourself. His 'burst' will not last forever.

..and any response will be taken as encouragement.

And another txt just now: "OMG u tell me not to disappear an you are no where to be found!!! "

Red - i agree i told him but then i broke down and saw him last tues and replied to his txts on Saturday. Im sorry if i seem wishy washy and maybe bc i cant think straight, but since i am seriously no longer going to see him. Today. And everyday, 1 day at a time, perhaps i should say something???

I just feel so ugh! Bad that i disappeared! I think how wld i feel if he ignored n did this to me.

I know he knows tho. How badly i feel about this whole situation. The lying, cheating, i feel badly for his W and son!! And ive told him so!! It's funny, even now while in the midst of a huge blow up w my H for the last 3 days, i dont want to run to OM. I actually want to seriously see if my M can be fixed. We have issues that were getting better and bam! One thing happens and all the old controlling, sulking behaviors came back and i feel miserable. Sorry this turned into more than just a check-in :(

I need help - please bear with me :(

Ok. I've had some time to think. You're right. Im not responding. He knows. I will continue with NC. For today.

Looks like venting a little and talking out helped. You done good. Hang in there.

Hey fiber- i just saw ur post about the extinction burst. We were posting at the same time and your post didnt show up yet. Someone else mentioned that term to me before. Im glad i held out. :)

Thank you guys so much. Today was by far a tough day for me.

Hi Family! I developed a strategy.of how not to respond to him. I sit down at my computer, fire up my browser, go to You Tube, play various songs, right now A Stronger Woman by Jewel. Then I hope that he has not E-mailed me. Then I check my E-mail with a sort of a prayer that he didn't E-mail me, AND HE DIDN'T!!! Then I come here and tell al;l of you what I am doing this second!!!

Here's sort of, for lack of a better term, evolution, of how I am changing my mind-set. Started with 100% desire to keep it going. Then I began to think about the morals and ethics of what I was doing. Judged myself as doing the wrong thing. Still didn't change my desire though.

Then the percentages began to shift. I am now at 80% wanting it to end, hoping he does not E-mail or call me. So No Contact for today should work, especially since I will try not to check my E-mails any more!

Let me tell you, as badly as my situation ended, if he had contacted me, even to say he was sorry, I would have tried to hang on. No matter what an ass he turned out to be, I wouldn't have wanted to let go because I didn't want to believe it and I would have wanted to hold on to prove I was worth it to him. He actually did me a favor by not contacting me, even though it hurts like a mother.

Omg I almost died at Redlegs first comment. Hahahaha