Cheaters Anonymous Community Group
This is a support group for cheating spouses looking for understanding and strength. Betrayed spouses are welcome to post ONLY if they can do so in a supportive manner (no bashing...these posts will be deleted), and please do not comment on 'Cheaters Only' posts.
I haven't posted in a while. Recap: had a 4 month affair with coworker in fall of 2018. Husband found out in January of 2019. Have been working on marriage since. It didn't make sense for me to quit my job and I was able to maintain NC relatively well. However, was recently put in a new position (that I didn't want) which now makes NC more difficult. I will probably have to sit in on meetings 2-3 times a week with AP which makes me uncomfortable and makes husband uncomfortable and makes marriage recovery harder. I've thought about quitting but in the current economic situation, that doesn't seem smart. Obviously, I don't want people to know about the affair at work. Do I say something to boss about not being able to work with other person. Do I risk quitting without a backup plan? Do I suck it up because it's my own damn fault? Help...there's no one else who understands!
Changing jobs should be a no brainier, He will always feel betrayed, and if he has a weak soul or mind he will always mistrust you. He doesn't mean too, its just when you look the wrong way, come home late, leave early, miss a call, or text his mind will race.
You come home and fail to talk about your day, or his day. not only creates distance but also creates mistrust.
If you aren't in the "mood" or he isn't in the "mode" then there will be issues of mistrust.
So why add this AP presence into the problem?
I hope you are staying healthy and taking care of your soul.
It takes time and dedication to gain trust back. This isn’t the way to do it. You want your marriage to work? Find another job. Your trust points will go up 7 fold. You stay and play ... long hard road ahead.