No, you should absolutely not suffer for this forever. You made a mistake, and now the marriage is over. That's punishment enough.

Time to lift your head up and stop seeing yourself as a "cheater". As far as your ex is concerned, limit contact with him. Explain respectfully that you are not going to put up with the guilt trips anymore and that you want your space. The ONLY time he is allowed to communicate with you, is if it is something to do with the kids. Even then, I'd recommend connection solely via text/email. Limit time spent together by keeping kid pick ups and drop offs very brief and in a very public space. No time for humiliating guilt trips in a busy public car park you see.


Keep working on your self esteem and build yourself up. You are not the sum total of one error of judgement. You can do this! All the best with your journey.

Thank you hithere1234. These are very comforting words. I know you are right, I just am not quite able to register. He gives me the space, btw, it's me that has to contact him cause the lids live with me and right now, our teenager is playing up so I want some support on how we shld handle jointly and inevitably, instead of being able to tackle that, he throws back to my face I am a cheater....

I decided I just won't contact him unless he does, I made him aware our teenager is playing up and as he clearly doesn't want to join forces to handle the situation, I can only hope he will reach out to our kid and try to get involved that way.

As for the guilt, I am not quite sure how to put it behind, I am not a murderer but yes, I am a cheater.
I cannot change it. Perhaps I deserve the eternal punishment. I hope that I will eventually forgive myself and find peace. Not quite there yet,

Definitely seek therapy to release this guilt. You can't live your best life or be the best parent while beating yourself up. I assume you have genuinely apologized to your ex, and he made the decision he felt he needed to make (divorce). You can't control how long he holds onto the anger. For his own good, I hope he releases it.

I try to tell myself that I will always regret it and wish I could undo it, but it is over and I have to move forward. I am not in the same place I was when I made the choices I did. There is a lot of life left to live. There is probably a lot about you that is awesome!

Enjoy your family and do your best to put up a boundary against further verbal attacks from your ex.

thank you for the support, real big thank you. it's a struggle.

Don't contact him. Use a third party. He doesn't want to be with you then what is the point to reminding you?
Counseling is a good start. Take care of yourself and your kids.

I'm sorry u feel this way, I know it feels and it's so consuming.... my husband and I are still together and yet I feel exactly the same way and he too throws it in my face constantly.... it hurts, really hurts but I think, I deserve that. So I stay. He does things that he knows hurts me very badly and people have said and even my counsellor has told me that I too have a choice with regards to the relationship and it isn't just his decision but it's hard because I see it as a loose loose. I love my husband more then ANYTHING but I broke him and he isn't the same person towards me anymore- even after 3 years from d day.... I've lost everything and so if I leave I know il be miserable but staying is hurting me so much that it's like my punishment.... it's so hard to know what to do as right now I am in my lowest hole again... every time I think we are doing good- I am reminded that I am nothing more then a cheating wife. No matter what I do from here on out- that's what I am and always will be.... that hurts and makes it hard to want to keep going....


Sorry if this reply was more about me- I guess I needed to vent... reading ur post made me realise that other people feel it too... and well, I'm sorry.... I'm sorry the pain is there.... u deserve more xxx