Cheaters Anonymous Community Group
This is a support group for cheating spouses looking for understanding and strength. Betrayed spouses are welcome to post ONLY if they can do so in a supportive manner (no bashing...these posts will be deleted), and please do not comment on 'Cheaters Only' posts.
I got caught this past Monday with om by my uncle. my uncle lives with me and dh. My uncle completely lost it and started a fist fight with my om. luckily my om did not fight back. I had to get in-between to get it to stop. my om left. I finally had to tell everyone in my family some of the horrible things that dh has done to me in the past and what caused me to turn away from him. my dh is abusive. om now wants to help me pay for a divorce. My uncle never knew about the past with my dh and now my uncle sees dh in a completely different way. my uncle is upset and hurt about what he did to om. I need to leave dh and now but I just dont know how to go about it plus i am afraid that the very mention of divorce will only piss him off even more and then god only knows what he would do to me. dh is being very nice to me now that he has found out about om but i know that this is only temporary. dh is like a broken record and history with him always repeats itself. I am going to be checking with the local YWCA to see if there is anything they can do to help me. If anyone out there can offer me advice on where to go or what to do to get a divorce and get away from dh i would greatly appreciate it. I have also told om that we need to take things slowly and he needs to give me time and he is very understanding with this and wants to help me.
http://feminist.org/911/crisis_state.html
Even if you're not willing to go to a shelter/transition house, it's still worth getting in touch to learn more about your rights and the steps to keeping yourself safe.
They help the women get jobs and get on their feet and when they feel safe to leave they help them find housing. Some just stay while they are making arrangements to go somewhere else and then they help arrange their transportation to wherever they are going.
Places like this are an excellent transition place to give you the courage to make the break and get a new start.
Good luck to you Missy, Pray a lot and do what you gotta do to get yourself in a better situation. Let people help and love and support you. Read therapeutic books and get IC as soon as you can. This is your time to make a new start, heal, learn about yourself so you can move forward into a healthy relationship.
I have been abused and I feel your pain. I was physically and emotionally abused by my Dad. Then a LTBF. This went on till I was 29. I am now 43 and just now doing IC to get over this. I have not been abused in 14 yrs. I don't really have an opinion as far as you cheating. I know everyone copes in their own way when being abused. It is a survival tool. When I was 18 I went out on my own. My dad always called me a slut-bitch. Guess what? I turned into one. Every time I had sex w/ someone I lost a little piece of myself. That's how I coped. Was it right? No.... but i needed the power after being powerless for so long in my parents house. You don't even sound sorry for cheating....and I dn't think you should be. It is time to take your life back and get healthy. Abusers suck the life out of you. (( hugs))